Fantasy
04/04/14 05:23
When I was young, I had big dreams. I had the capability to imagine things that had not yet come to pass. Sometimes these dreams were empowering - they gave me goals for which to strive. When I was learning to fly, I would imagine the freedom of having my own airplane and being able to travel from place to place at great speed. The fantasy was helpful in that it inspired me to work hard at the real tasks of learning to fly. I knuckled down in my bookwork and prepared for my written test. I practiced diligently and focused my attention when I was taking lessons. And between lessons I thought about flying a lot. Because I could imagine myself doing the tasks of a pilot, I memorized many of the things that I needed to know as I imagined myself being a pilot. The system worked. I passed my written and flying examinations on my first attempt, I earned my pilot’s license as soon as I was old enough to qualify.
In retrospect, it is interesting to me that there are many aspects of private general aviation that I didn’t include in my fantasies. When I imagined myself as an adult pilot, I never imagined how I would earn enough money to own an airplane. I didn’t think at all of the rising costs of fuel and maintenance. In my fantasies, those things just worked themselves out. In real life, flying played out differently than in my fantasies. I have rented airplanes and flown many times. We did own part of an airplane in a successful partnership for a while. I was able to fly my family across several states on some wonderful vacations. I did occasionally use an airplane to travel to and from meetings. But I also decided to quit flying as my family had other financial priorities. I decided that the amount of money required to stay current and safe was more than we could afford among the many priorities of our family.
Other fantasies have been empowering while at the same time illustrating the difference between fantasy and reality. I imagined that I would be a recognized author with many books to my credit. I could imagine being invited to lecture at universities because of the wisdom I put into my books. The fantasy has empowered me to keep on writing and I have a significant list of magazine and journal articles as well as contributions to a few books. In my fantasies of being a famous writer, however, I didn’t dwell on distractions. I didn’t really consider how much time and energy being a husband and father requires. In real life, setting priorities for my time was always a bit of a struggle. There are many things that i want to do and it seems like I always have a half dozen unfinished projects. A quick look at the file director of the laptop computer that I use to write my daily blog reveals at leas a dozen unfinished manuscripts. It would be possible to finish those projects if I were to devote full-time to them. Of course were I to do so, I might have trouble paying my bills and being responsible to my family. In real life, I have not wanted to have writing be the only thing that I do. I have enjoyed being far less focused than I imagine a writer would be.
I most of my fantasies, there are fewer problems and distractions than I have discovered in real life. Still the fantasies have had a positive influence on some of the decisions I have made. Imagination allows us to play out different scenarios. It isn’t the same as real-world experience, but it can contribute to how we live our lives in the real world.
As I age, my fantasies change. I used to imagine being the owner of a shiny new car or truck and having the latest and fanciest vehicle available. I often looked at new cars in showrooms and imagined what it would be like to own them. These days, such fantasies don’t seem to occupy my imagination. We are blessed to have dependable vehicles and when it comes time to make a purchase, I tend to see the process as a chore. I’m quite happy that I don’t often have to be dealing on vehicles. And I don’t think much about those things any more.
When I was in my early twenties, I made a list of goals. The goals were, in retrospect, mostly fantasies. At least I didn’t include in the goals the necessary steps to achieve them. The list had a goal for each five years of my life. I accomplished the early goals, up to about age 30. Most of the goals for the ages beyond that are things that I have not yet accomplished. I think that 35 was have a book accepted for publication. I have contributed to books and I have my name on the cover of a few curriculum pieces that look a bit like books, but I haven’t really even written a real book. There were career goals that now don’t seem desirable to me. I imagined that I would serve in one of the national ministries of the church. Those jobs have never been appealing to me. From where I sit today it seems that a job that would distance me from every week worship and participating in pastoral care to the members of a congregation would not be desirable. And I have no interest in living in a city, which is where one lives when one has that kind of a job.
It is interesting that I didn’t include any family goals on that list - nothing about becoming a father, getting children through college, celebrating anniversaries with my wife, or family milestones such as the death of parents or the weddings of nieces and nephews. In the real world, those things are wonderfully large parts of my life and my sense of meaning.
I guess that I have come to a place where the reality of my life is simply more entertaining and worthy of my thought than the fantasies. I hope that my imagination isn’t getting dull. I still want to be able to dream big dreams. But I guess I just didn’t realize how wonderful it would be to be a husband, a dad, a grandfather and a pastor. Some of the fantasies of my youth are simply not as much fun as the reality of my life today.
In retrospect, it is interesting to me that there are many aspects of private general aviation that I didn’t include in my fantasies. When I imagined myself as an adult pilot, I never imagined how I would earn enough money to own an airplane. I didn’t think at all of the rising costs of fuel and maintenance. In my fantasies, those things just worked themselves out. In real life, flying played out differently than in my fantasies. I have rented airplanes and flown many times. We did own part of an airplane in a successful partnership for a while. I was able to fly my family across several states on some wonderful vacations. I did occasionally use an airplane to travel to and from meetings. But I also decided to quit flying as my family had other financial priorities. I decided that the amount of money required to stay current and safe was more than we could afford among the many priorities of our family.
Other fantasies have been empowering while at the same time illustrating the difference between fantasy and reality. I imagined that I would be a recognized author with many books to my credit. I could imagine being invited to lecture at universities because of the wisdom I put into my books. The fantasy has empowered me to keep on writing and I have a significant list of magazine and journal articles as well as contributions to a few books. In my fantasies of being a famous writer, however, I didn’t dwell on distractions. I didn’t really consider how much time and energy being a husband and father requires. In real life, setting priorities for my time was always a bit of a struggle. There are many things that i want to do and it seems like I always have a half dozen unfinished projects. A quick look at the file director of the laptop computer that I use to write my daily blog reveals at leas a dozen unfinished manuscripts. It would be possible to finish those projects if I were to devote full-time to them. Of course were I to do so, I might have trouble paying my bills and being responsible to my family. In real life, I have not wanted to have writing be the only thing that I do. I have enjoyed being far less focused than I imagine a writer would be.
I most of my fantasies, there are fewer problems and distractions than I have discovered in real life. Still the fantasies have had a positive influence on some of the decisions I have made. Imagination allows us to play out different scenarios. It isn’t the same as real-world experience, but it can contribute to how we live our lives in the real world.
As I age, my fantasies change. I used to imagine being the owner of a shiny new car or truck and having the latest and fanciest vehicle available. I often looked at new cars in showrooms and imagined what it would be like to own them. These days, such fantasies don’t seem to occupy my imagination. We are blessed to have dependable vehicles and when it comes time to make a purchase, I tend to see the process as a chore. I’m quite happy that I don’t often have to be dealing on vehicles. And I don’t think much about those things any more.
When I was in my early twenties, I made a list of goals. The goals were, in retrospect, mostly fantasies. At least I didn’t include in the goals the necessary steps to achieve them. The list had a goal for each five years of my life. I accomplished the early goals, up to about age 30. Most of the goals for the ages beyond that are things that I have not yet accomplished. I think that 35 was have a book accepted for publication. I have contributed to books and I have my name on the cover of a few curriculum pieces that look a bit like books, but I haven’t really even written a real book. There were career goals that now don’t seem desirable to me. I imagined that I would serve in one of the national ministries of the church. Those jobs have never been appealing to me. From where I sit today it seems that a job that would distance me from every week worship and participating in pastoral care to the members of a congregation would not be desirable. And I have no interest in living in a city, which is where one lives when one has that kind of a job.
It is interesting that I didn’t include any family goals on that list - nothing about becoming a father, getting children through college, celebrating anniversaries with my wife, or family milestones such as the death of parents or the weddings of nieces and nephews. In the real world, those things are wonderfully large parts of my life and my sense of meaning.
I guess that I have come to a place where the reality of my life is simply more entertaining and worthy of my thought than the fantasies. I hope that my imagination isn’t getting dull. I still want to be able to dream big dreams. But I guess I just didn’t realize how wonderful it would be to be a husband, a dad, a grandfather and a pastor. Some of the fantasies of my youth are simply not as much fun as the reality of my life today.