Learning charity
26/02/14 05:27
When we were children, my parents became friends with a student at Rocky Mountain College who was from Rhodesia. This was before the 1965 declaration of independence and the later reconstitution of the government into the modern nation of Zimbabwe. Despite efforts of the people of Rhodesia the British government was initially unwilling to grand independence. The student who came to the college was later to become one of the leaders in the independent country. Because of the great distance he had traveled for his education in the United States, unlike other college students, he wasn’t able to return home on holidays. Through other connections at the college, my folks befriended him and he visited in our home and shared some holidays with us. We found out about his family and our family wanted to provide support for them. I don’t remember all of the details, but I do remember that there was a high tax from one of the governments on exporting new goods from the United States to Rhodesia. So my parents helped us kids select toys to send as presents to the family. We then took the toys out of their original packages and gently played with them for a few minutes. My father took pictures of us playing so he could document that the toys were “used.” They were then packaged and sent to Rhodesia.
My parents worked with us in a lot of different ways to encourage us to learn the value of giving. We were encouraged to offer part of our weekly allowance at church. We kept coin banks for special offerings that the church held. We sorted through our toys each year for the Toys for Tots program back when that involved donations of used toys and volunteers who repaired and painted the toys before they were given to other children. My parents talked openly about their gifts to the church and about the missions and programs of the church.
But times have changed. We still recognize the value of giving. And we still want to teach the value of giving to our children, but often we confuse giving for the sake of feeling good with doing things that genuinely help others. And it is hard to find projects that go beyond just “feel good” projects.
In our town there are so many people with extra clothing that used clothing drives seem to be more about helping people who have too many clothes to clean out their closets than clothing those in need. Donation boxes have been installed at area stores and strip malls because people want convenience for their donations. One local group receives so many clothes donations that they have purchased a large baler so the clothing can be compressed into shipping bundles and sent to Central and South America. It is a little jarring to see all of the clothing with the logos of U.S.A. teams and corporations in remote parts of the world.
Recently a local girl with the highest of motivations got excited about providing new shoes for children who didn’t have good shoes. With the support of her parents, her church and others, she managed to collect over 200 pairs of new shoes for donation. I never did find out what kind of distribution system they developed to get the shoes on the right sized feet, but I assume that they found a way to partner with one of the organizations on the Pine Ridge Reservation. The idea started with the genuine generous impulses of a young girl. She asked her family that instead of giving her gifts for her birthday that they give a gift to children with more need than she. The result, however, was that the adults sort of took over the girl’s project and it became a situation where the girl provided the idea, but others provided all of the money and logistics. Missions are often like that - the person that originates the idea has to release control of that idea in order for it to blossom.
But it is getting harder and harder to find projects that are available for children and youth to become direct givers and stake holders.
We use the concept charity in a wide variety of ways. At its core the concept grows out of a Christian theological concept: God’s love is unlimited. In gratitude for that unconditional love, Christians are enabled to offer love and kindness to others. Somehow from that concept, the idea of charity has turned into donating money. Benevolent giving is a positive value and one that should be encouraged. However, not all charity has resulted in helping people. Sometimes gifts are given with strings attached. Sometimes we have used the concept of charity to export our culture and impose it on others. Sometimes we have made others dependent and robbed them of their dignity through our gifts.
For several years our local Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization had a program called “Bowl for Kids’ Sake” that encouraged youth to partner with the organization for a fun event that also raised funds for the programs of the organization. Over the years, however, the organization has discovered that adults raise more dollars than youth and the program has become less focused on the schedules and lives of youth. Youth participation has become less important for the success of the program. If the trend continues, we will need to find new opportunities for our youth to participate in giving.
So it caught my eye that students in the Beyond Books program at Rapid City High School are collecting used prom dresses for girls in need. On the surface it seems like a good idea. Prom dresses are very expensive one-time items and it makes more sense for them to be worn by someone else rather than sitting in a closet. On the other hand, prom dresses are pretty much luxury items.
I’ve no objection to the drive.
But I’d love to see a change in the culture to the point where it would be acceptable for a high school student to attend prom in a home-sewn dress and then see students engaged in helping one another make their own dresses for the occasion.
If they get to the point where they are having a drive to donate new shoes for girls in need to wear with their used prom dresses, I may try to find a different charity.
My parents worked with us in a lot of different ways to encourage us to learn the value of giving. We were encouraged to offer part of our weekly allowance at church. We kept coin banks for special offerings that the church held. We sorted through our toys each year for the Toys for Tots program back when that involved donations of used toys and volunteers who repaired and painted the toys before they were given to other children. My parents talked openly about their gifts to the church and about the missions and programs of the church.
But times have changed. We still recognize the value of giving. And we still want to teach the value of giving to our children, but often we confuse giving for the sake of feeling good with doing things that genuinely help others. And it is hard to find projects that go beyond just “feel good” projects.
In our town there are so many people with extra clothing that used clothing drives seem to be more about helping people who have too many clothes to clean out their closets than clothing those in need. Donation boxes have been installed at area stores and strip malls because people want convenience for their donations. One local group receives so many clothes donations that they have purchased a large baler so the clothing can be compressed into shipping bundles and sent to Central and South America. It is a little jarring to see all of the clothing with the logos of U.S.A. teams and corporations in remote parts of the world.
Recently a local girl with the highest of motivations got excited about providing new shoes for children who didn’t have good shoes. With the support of her parents, her church and others, she managed to collect over 200 pairs of new shoes for donation. I never did find out what kind of distribution system they developed to get the shoes on the right sized feet, but I assume that they found a way to partner with one of the organizations on the Pine Ridge Reservation. The idea started with the genuine generous impulses of a young girl. She asked her family that instead of giving her gifts for her birthday that they give a gift to children with more need than she. The result, however, was that the adults sort of took over the girl’s project and it became a situation where the girl provided the idea, but others provided all of the money and logistics. Missions are often like that - the person that originates the idea has to release control of that idea in order for it to blossom.
But it is getting harder and harder to find projects that are available for children and youth to become direct givers and stake holders.
We use the concept charity in a wide variety of ways. At its core the concept grows out of a Christian theological concept: God’s love is unlimited. In gratitude for that unconditional love, Christians are enabled to offer love and kindness to others. Somehow from that concept, the idea of charity has turned into donating money. Benevolent giving is a positive value and one that should be encouraged. However, not all charity has resulted in helping people. Sometimes gifts are given with strings attached. Sometimes we have used the concept of charity to export our culture and impose it on others. Sometimes we have made others dependent and robbed them of their dignity through our gifts.
For several years our local Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization had a program called “Bowl for Kids’ Sake” that encouraged youth to partner with the organization for a fun event that also raised funds for the programs of the organization. Over the years, however, the organization has discovered that adults raise more dollars than youth and the program has become less focused on the schedules and lives of youth. Youth participation has become less important for the success of the program. If the trend continues, we will need to find new opportunities for our youth to participate in giving.
So it caught my eye that students in the Beyond Books program at Rapid City High School are collecting used prom dresses for girls in need. On the surface it seems like a good idea. Prom dresses are very expensive one-time items and it makes more sense for them to be worn by someone else rather than sitting in a closet. On the other hand, prom dresses are pretty much luxury items.
I’ve no objection to the drive.
But I’d love to see a change in the culture to the point where it would be acceptable for a high school student to attend prom in a home-sewn dress and then see students engaged in helping one another make their own dresses for the occasion.
If they get to the point where they are having a drive to donate new shoes for girls in need to wear with their used prom dresses, I may try to find a different charity.