Signs of spring
27/04/14 05:18
We had some thundershowers overnight: nothing violent, just the rumble of thunder in the hills and a brief rain shower. I didn’t get up to look out, but I woke up enough to feel snug and secure in my bed and appreciate the sound of the rain outside of the windows. Thundershowers in the hills have the ability to stir a lot of different emotions. There are stil plenty of people who can remember 1972 when a big storm parked over the hills and dumped rain until the creek overflowed, the dam burst and a wall of water drove a devastating path through the middle of the city. Some years, especially later into the summer, each thunderstorm brings the threat of wildfire to tinder dry forests. And most of us have been through the routine of having to get new roofs and car repairs when the thunderheads build and become hail factories that leave an impression not soon forgotten.
But there was something in last night’s showers that evoked a feeling of the joy of spring instead of a fear of severe weather. Perhaps it was the simple fact that it wasn’t snowing. We are beginning to believe that spring has arrived in the hills. The grass is green and the trees are budding out. Now, this morning, the air smells fresh and sweet. Those who have lived in the hills long enough can remember the springs that have tricked us and the spring blizzards that have left us snowed in one last time before winter releases its grip, but we’re getting to the point where people are thinking of planting gardens and getting on with the business of coaxing what we can from a relatively short growing season.
One sure sign of spring were all of the prom night activities last night. The limousine companies were busy, the streets and parks were filled with couples in fancy dress, the restaurants were booked and folks were taking pictures all around town. I went to my junior prom. It was a nice affair, I guess. But times have changed. There were no rented suits for guys at our prom. And we didn’t worry about color coordination with the dresses that our dates wore. I think that the dress was supposed to be a bit of a surprise. It was considered acceptable to ask a general question to aid the selection of the corsage, but there wasn’t an attempt to make a vest (I didn’t wear one) or tie coordinate with the dress. I didn’t own a suit in those days. A sport coat and dress slacks with a white shirt and a tie pretty much made up my outfit. I probably took time to polish my dress shoes for the occasion.
We didn’t have facebook or instagram. My father had a polaroid camera so we did have at least one picture on the night of the prom. I don’t remember those particular details.
One of the differences between then and now is that couples tended to marry earlier. I’ve been married to my prom date for more than 4 decades now, and I have a fair number of friends who married within the first few years after high school graduation. The average age for first marriage now is ten years beyond high school graduation. I suppose that a few of these young couples will remain connected and will become married, but it certainly isn’t the norm in our society any more.
These days, now that I am old enough to be the grandfather of the kids going to prom, I worry a bit about their safety. There are so many potentials for injury out there in the next decade for these young people. Obvious dangers such as car accidents and drug and alcohol abuse are easy to imagine. As real, and potentially as dangerous is the minefield of emotional ups and downs that lie ahead for today’s young adults. There are a lot of different ways for those young people to experience pain.
It is not uncommon for me to counsel couples in the planning of their first marriage where one or both of the partners have had significant long-term live-in relationships with painful breakups. Because they did not go through the formality of marriage, there is no formal divorce, but these people have the complex feelings and emotional tenderness of ones who have been married and divorced. It is not at all unusual for couples to have had multiple experiences of relationships that broke up by the time they go through a marriage. Their lives seem a great deal more complex than was the case for us.
Young people feel a need to have settled into their careers before they marry these days. I don’t remember thinking that things had to go in that order. We accepted that marrying meant that we’d be going through some lean years while we finished our educations and launched our careers. We had a sense that we didn’t know where life would lead us at the point of marriage - simply that we’d be facing those decisions together.
Times change. People change. It isn’t possible to go back to the way things were and if we did, we’d discover that the “good old days” probably weren’t all that good in the first place. I just worry a bit about these young people as they start their journeys into adulthood. I pray that they won’t be hurt too severely or too often. I pray that they will find their way in this life. I pray that they will discover the difference between the dream night of prom and the joy of a long-term marriage. I guess I’d wish both for them.
But, of course, it isn’t up to me. Part of what adulthood means is that they need to make their own decisions and find their own way.
Spring is always filled with a mixture of fantasy and genuine hope. May the rain fall gently and new life emerge as we travel this season together.
But there was something in last night’s showers that evoked a feeling of the joy of spring instead of a fear of severe weather. Perhaps it was the simple fact that it wasn’t snowing. We are beginning to believe that spring has arrived in the hills. The grass is green and the trees are budding out. Now, this morning, the air smells fresh and sweet. Those who have lived in the hills long enough can remember the springs that have tricked us and the spring blizzards that have left us snowed in one last time before winter releases its grip, but we’re getting to the point where people are thinking of planting gardens and getting on with the business of coaxing what we can from a relatively short growing season.
One sure sign of spring were all of the prom night activities last night. The limousine companies were busy, the streets and parks were filled with couples in fancy dress, the restaurants were booked and folks were taking pictures all around town. I went to my junior prom. It was a nice affair, I guess. But times have changed. There were no rented suits for guys at our prom. And we didn’t worry about color coordination with the dresses that our dates wore. I think that the dress was supposed to be a bit of a surprise. It was considered acceptable to ask a general question to aid the selection of the corsage, but there wasn’t an attempt to make a vest (I didn’t wear one) or tie coordinate with the dress. I didn’t own a suit in those days. A sport coat and dress slacks with a white shirt and a tie pretty much made up my outfit. I probably took time to polish my dress shoes for the occasion.
We didn’t have facebook or instagram. My father had a polaroid camera so we did have at least one picture on the night of the prom. I don’t remember those particular details.
One of the differences between then and now is that couples tended to marry earlier. I’ve been married to my prom date for more than 4 decades now, and I have a fair number of friends who married within the first few years after high school graduation. The average age for first marriage now is ten years beyond high school graduation. I suppose that a few of these young couples will remain connected and will become married, but it certainly isn’t the norm in our society any more.
These days, now that I am old enough to be the grandfather of the kids going to prom, I worry a bit about their safety. There are so many potentials for injury out there in the next decade for these young people. Obvious dangers such as car accidents and drug and alcohol abuse are easy to imagine. As real, and potentially as dangerous is the minefield of emotional ups and downs that lie ahead for today’s young adults. There are a lot of different ways for those young people to experience pain.
It is not uncommon for me to counsel couples in the planning of their first marriage where one or both of the partners have had significant long-term live-in relationships with painful breakups. Because they did not go through the formality of marriage, there is no formal divorce, but these people have the complex feelings and emotional tenderness of ones who have been married and divorced. It is not at all unusual for couples to have had multiple experiences of relationships that broke up by the time they go through a marriage. Their lives seem a great deal more complex than was the case for us.
Young people feel a need to have settled into their careers before they marry these days. I don’t remember thinking that things had to go in that order. We accepted that marrying meant that we’d be going through some lean years while we finished our educations and launched our careers. We had a sense that we didn’t know where life would lead us at the point of marriage - simply that we’d be facing those decisions together.
Times change. People change. It isn’t possible to go back to the way things were and if we did, we’d discover that the “good old days” probably weren’t all that good in the first place. I just worry a bit about these young people as they start their journeys into adulthood. I pray that they won’t be hurt too severely or too often. I pray that they will find their way in this life. I pray that they will discover the difference between the dream night of prom and the joy of a long-term marriage. I guess I’d wish both for them.
But, of course, it isn’t up to me. Part of what adulthood means is that they need to make their own decisions and find their own way.
Spring is always filled with a mixture of fantasy and genuine hope. May the rain fall gently and new life emerge as we travel this season together.