Outside of my office is a large white freestanding cross. It is lit during the evening hours and can be seen from many different locations around town. There is also a cross on the steeple of the church. There is no question that I work in a Christian organization. Often, when I describe the location of the church to those who are asking for directions, they recognize the cross. “Oh, you’re the church with the big white cross!” “Yes, that’s us.”

I guess that I have never not been Christian. My parents presented me for baptism in our church long before I can remember. The certificate from that baptism is displayed on my office wall along with diplomas and other important documents that establish my credentials as a minister. I grew up in a family that attended church very regularly. Our parents were active in our local congregation and in the ministries of the wider church. I have gone to church camp every summer of my life, including that first one when I was just over a month old when I went to family camp. There are pictures of me sleeping in the wood box of the cabin.

I am also a dedicated student of the Bible. I have studied it with vigor and enthusiasm through four years of college, four years of graduate school, and a lifetime of both devotional reading and academic study. I have some familiarity with Hebrew and Greek and I have access to commentaries and academic biblical research databases.

I claim the title “amateur theologian.” It is a title I borrowed from Karen Armstrong, but one that really fits. Theology is the study of God. Amateur means “for the love of it.” I study God for the love of God.

Contrary to what many people might identify with Christian leaders. however, I am not a fundamentalist. Contrary to popular belief, fundamentalism is not a throwback to an earlier form of Christianity. It is not “going back” to the fundamentals, as some might claim. It is, rather, a relatively new development in the history of religion. Prior to the Renaissance, there was no recognized form of fundamentalism in any world religion. Fundamentalism is a response to modernity. Of course what modernity is has changed since the reformation, but all forms of fundamentalism are responses to spiritual crises. During the Renaissance, the collapse of piety forced people to look for new ways of being religious. Some chose to see religion at odds or “at war” with the forces of modern society and found religious expression in being decidedly anti-modern.

In our world today, most major religions have forms of fundamentalism. It is at least true of Christianity, Judaism, Islam and Hinduism. In all of these world religions fundamentalism has been especially attractive to new converts. In all of these world religions, fundamentalism has been associated with violence. Among the recent purchases of the terrorists that attacked the World Trade Center in 2001, were the books, “Islam for Dummies,” and “The Koran for Dummies.” Recent converts, who were not steeped in religion, nor knowledgable about scriptures became radicalized and dangerously violent.

If it weren’t so dangerous, I would be amused by how little of the history and scriptures of Christianity are known by Christian fundamentalists. They tend to be found in congregations where the clergy are not educated and where the church does not have strong connections to other congregations. Independent churches with charismatic clergy seem to attract both new converts to Christianity and those who while may have grown up with the name Christian, did not grow up immersed in congregational life. Those churches often reject academic scholarship and traditional church structures. On occasion I worship with those congregations and each time I am amazed at how much lip service is given to the Bible, and how little is taught about the Bible. “If you believed the Bible like I believe the Bible,” one preacher intoned a dozen times during a worship service in which he neither read the Bible nor interpreted its texts.

A couple of oft-quoted sentences and a few proof-texts combined with a lot of waving of the book and references to the bible without actual reading of its contents seem to be the norm in some congregations. What is called “bible study” in many places is predominantly political and cultural indoctrination with only a few verses from the Bible thrown in an nothing that can be recognized as actual study.

Despite the existence of parts of Christianity that make me cringe, I am very comfortable in my faith. I have no problem being identified as a Christian. I am pleased to share my church with others. I work to help the church grow. Having said that, I have little interest in “converting” others. My faith does not require me to surround myself with people who agree with me and I don’t need to change the beliefs of others. I do, however, challenge people of all faiths to go deeper and learn more about their own faith. There is no doubt that Islamic fundamentalists have engaged in violence and present a real danger to others. The solution, however, is not in engaging in a war on Islam, but rather in helping others, especially new converts and other fundamentalists, to dive deeper into their faith instead of remaining on the surface. At its core, Islam is a religion of peace. The vast majority of the world’s 1.5 billion Muslims see Islamic terrorism as a violation of their sacred texts. You can find a couple of verses to support violence. When you consider the whole of the text, Islam is a religion of peace.

I am eager to engage in serious conversation with any one who wishes to become a Christian or to become a more committed Christian. On the other hand, I think that spending my energies on people who have no interest in our faith to be misdirected. I’d rather invite those who do participate to look closer, to study harder and to become more committed to our faith.

I don’t mind our cross as a symbol to the wider world. I have no problem declaring our identity to all who can see. But the truth is that the symbol of sacrifice is as much for me and the people who already belong as it is for others. I still have much to learn.

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