Happiness
23/08/14 05:11
There is a light rain falling as I rise this morning. The forecast is for more rain today and according to my weather radio, there is a general warning for possible flooding in the area. It really isn’t that cold, but something in the air makes it feel just a little bit like autumn. Everybody around here has been saying all year long that the weather is a bit unusual this year. I’m thinking that I just haven’t gotten in the paddling that I wanted to do. Not that I can blame it on the weather. There have been plenty of glorious paddling days when I have stayed at home. A slightly over-committed lifestyle means that I often make other choices on how to use my time.
But we had a summertime menu last night with brats and small steaks and corn cooked on the grill. And, as usual, the thing that made the evening was the company. Our daughter and son in law are visiting and will leave for their home this morning. We have guests from Australia with whom it seems as if we have been pursuing the same conversation for four decades. We are always able to pick up where we left off whenever we get together. And close friends from here in Rapid City filled out the chairs at the table. The laughter was contagious and the silliness was delightful. It was an evening to remember.
I once read an article that spoke of how scientists attempt to measure happiness. It isn’t exactly an easy thing to study. People generally know when they are happy, but the elements that create happiness are complex and vary from person to person. I wasn’t too impressed with the article. I remember thinking that it would be just as good for the purposes of their study to simply ask people whether or not they were happy. Those who said, “yes,” go in the happy column; those who said, “no,” in the other one. At any rate, the one thing that I got out of the article was that there is a big difference between what the society labels as success and what people perceive as happiness. Wealth seems to be a big factor in success, but not such a big factor in happiness. As long as basic needs for food and shelter and clothing are met, people are able to be happy with very few financial resources. What seems to be most important for happiness is meaningful personal relationships.
When it comes to that, we are exceptionally blessed.
I spend a fair amount of time working with families that have strained relationships. I’ve witnessed scores of divorces in the community, in the church, and among my brothers and sisters. I hear lots of stories of family dysfunction, of parents who don’t speak to children or siblings who can’t get along. I know how miserable people can be when relationships with others don’t work out.
We are fortunate to be blessed with a wonderful marriage, incredible children who genuinely like each other and a circle of friends around the world who long to get together and deeply enjoy our time when we do. And yes, if asked by some scientist, I would report that I am a happy person.
One of my friends, who has since passed away, used to like to respond, when asked how he was, “Let’s see . . . I had breakfast and prospects look good for lunch. Yup, I think I’m doing pretty good.”
I don’ know how much unhappiness is caused by excessive worry, but it seems to me that one of the antidotes to worry is the assurance that you have people in your life that you can count on. I don’t have to worry about being lonely in this life because I am surrounded by people who care about me. I have a lot of friends who are younger than me and who will outlive me. When I get to the point in my life where I am old and feeble, there will be plenty of friends to keep me from loneliness as long as I treasure and nurture those relationships and don’t force people out of my life.
The old hymn by John Fawcett seems to sum it all up pretty well.
Blest be the tie that binds Our hearts in Christian love; The fellowship of kindred minds Is like to that above.
Before our Father’s throne, We pour our ardent prayers; Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one, Our comforts, and our cares.
We share our mutual woes, Our mutual burdens bear; And often for each other flows The sympathizing tear.
When we asunder part, It gives us inward pain; But we shall still be joined in heart, And hope to meet again.
Indeed I am blessed. Thanks be to God!
But we had a summertime menu last night with brats and small steaks and corn cooked on the grill. And, as usual, the thing that made the evening was the company. Our daughter and son in law are visiting and will leave for their home this morning. We have guests from Australia with whom it seems as if we have been pursuing the same conversation for four decades. We are always able to pick up where we left off whenever we get together. And close friends from here in Rapid City filled out the chairs at the table. The laughter was contagious and the silliness was delightful. It was an evening to remember.
I once read an article that spoke of how scientists attempt to measure happiness. It isn’t exactly an easy thing to study. People generally know when they are happy, but the elements that create happiness are complex and vary from person to person. I wasn’t too impressed with the article. I remember thinking that it would be just as good for the purposes of their study to simply ask people whether or not they were happy. Those who said, “yes,” go in the happy column; those who said, “no,” in the other one. At any rate, the one thing that I got out of the article was that there is a big difference between what the society labels as success and what people perceive as happiness. Wealth seems to be a big factor in success, but not such a big factor in happiness. As long as basic needs for food and shelter and clothing are met, people are able to be happy with very few financial resources. What seems to be most important for happiness is meaningful personal relationships.
When it comes to that, we are exceptionally blessed.
I spend a fair amount of time working with families that have strained relationships. I’ve witnessed scores of divorces in the community, in the church, and among my brothers and sisters. I hear lots of stories of family dysfunction, of parents who don’t speak to children or siblings who can’t get along. I know how miserable people can be when relationships with others don’t work out.
We are fortunate to be blessed with a wonderful marriage, incredible children who genuinely like each other and a circle of friends around the world who long to get together and deeply enjoy our time when we do. And yes, if asked by some scientist, I would report that I am a happy person.
One of my friends, who has since passed away, used to like to respond, when asked how he was, “Let’s see . . . I had breakfast and prospects look good for lunch. Yup, I think I’m doing pretty good.”
I don’ know how much unhappiness is caused by excessive worry, but it seems to me that one of the antidotes to worry is the assurance that you have people in your life that you can count on. I don’t have to worry about being lonely in this life because I am surrounded by people who care about me. I have a lot of friends who are younger than me and who will outlive me. When I get to the point in my life where I am old and feeble, there will be plenty of friends to keep me from loneliness as long as I treasure and nurture those relationships and don’t force people out of my life.
The old hymn by John Fawcett seems to sum it all up pretty well.
Blest be the tie that binds Our hearts in Christian love; The fellowship of kindred minds Is like to that above.
Before our Father’s throne, We pour our ardent prayers; Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one, Our comforts, and our cares.
We share our mutual woes, Our mutual burdens bear; And often for each other flows The sympathizing tear.
When we asunder part, It gives us inward pain; But we shall still be joined in heart, And hope to meet again.
Indeed I am blessed. Thanks be to God!