Holy Wednesday, 2014
16/04/14 05:05
Most cultures have some form of a wake tradition. The concept is simple. After a person dies, there is a delay between the event of the death and the final disposition of the body. Although embalming practices are ancient, for much of human history, embalming was reserved for the very wealthy. Common folks needed to be buried within a relatively short amount of time before decomposition of the body became too advanced. A day or two was all that separated the death from the funeral. During that delay, it quickly became a tradition for someone to sit with the body. In many cultures, the closest family members took turns staying awake and sitting with the body. In many cases, the body was brought into a home and family and friends gathered to wait with the body.
Modern funeral customs have resulted in the adaptation of many wake traditions. In our part of the country, Lakota and Dakota people continue the tradition in a modified form. An all night wake is held the night before the funeral. The body has already been prepared and placed in a casket by a licensed funeral director. It is rare for family members to participate in the bathing and dressing of the body. The evening before the funeral, the wake starts, usually in a community center or a public hall. Although our congregation still allows for all night wakes, most do not. A gymnasium or community center is a more likely location for a wake. The wake lasts from 12 to 15 hours and consists of people coming and going. There is usually a meal served and snacks and beverages are available throughout the wake. A time of formal story telling and prayers is often a part of the wake sometime in the evening.
The traditions of a funeral give away among plains tribes have also shifted with the times. The give away at the funeral was, in most cases, modest. A warrior owned only his clothing, his weapons and his horses. Often clothing was minimal. When a warrior died in battle, it was not uncommon for his weapons and horses to be lost in the battle. When a person died after an illness or of old age, there was often time for the individual to give away possessions prior to death. Whatever possessions remained at the time of death were quickly given away so that the spirit would not be encumbered by possessions as it made its transition from this world to the next. A larger give away was common after a year had passed. Given away on this occasion were the possessions and handwork of the mourners.
The wake has an important role in the process of grieving. Because it usually involves a viewing of the body it offers an opportunity for the reality of the death to be absorbed by the mourners. The time of intense remembering and storytelling reinforce memories and make it easier to tell the stories and to remember at a later date. The wake also provides an opportunity for mourners to meditate on the simple fact that we are all mortal. We will all one day die from this life. Shared grief and tears provide an alternative to the sense of loneliness and isolation that are often a part of grief in our modern society.
Tonight is the night of our wake service that is a part of our Holy Week observances. The format is relatively simple. We have a good meal together, and share songs and stories about Jesus’ life. People re-tell the ancient stories as reported in the Gospels and also tell of their own experiences of encounters with the resurrected Jesus. We put up a display of artwork and show slides of paintings and drawings that depict Jesus.
We spend an evening in which we allow the reality of death to be apparent as we think of our own mortality.
One of the deepest mysteries of our relationship with God is also one of its greatest miracles. In Jesus, God shared the totality of human experience. Unlike the gods of Roman and Greek mythology, Jesus wasn't a temporary experiment in human living. Rather, Jesus shared the entire experience from birth to death. Jesus was born a human birth and he died a human death with all of the pain and suffering that can be involved in those events. We live with the knowledge that there is nothing in life or death that God has not experienced and that God does not share as we journey through our lives.
In a few days, the attention of our congregation will turn to the glory and surprise of Jesus’ resurrection. But for a while this week, it seems appropriate to sit for a while with the reality of his death. Because we will all experience both the death of loved ones and our own deaths, it seems appropriate that we practice the process of grieving and remembering. Because the promises of God are not only given to us, but also to our children and grandchildren, it seems appropriate that we carefully craft opportunities to speak of death, loss and grief with our children as we pass on the traditions of our people from generation to generation.
The transition from last night’s blues concert to tonight’s wake service is fairly dramatic. The stage and lighting need to be taken down and stored. The tables and displays need to be set up in a new pattern to make the room ready and welcoming for people as they arrive for a meal and the opportunity to share stories. The piano has to be moved. Food must be prepared. Just as is the case when a loved one dies, there is much that needs to be done in a short time table.
Last night, after the blues concert, one of the members of our congregation was commenting on the long hours that are a part of this week. The person was rightly noting that I get tired. Grieving is exhausting. Getting tired isn’t the worst thing that can happen. When a loved one dies, sleep patterns are disrupted, exhaustion comes close. Getting tired is part of the process. Having tasks to complete in the midst of the disruption can be a part of the healing. Just getting up and brushing your teeth can be a reminder that life goes on.
Our Holy Week journey continues and it is indeed a journey. We will pray for strength and endurance. Rest will come soon enough. For now we stay awake and watch.
Modern funeral customs have resulted in the adaptation of many wake traditions. In our part of the country, Lakota and Dakota people continue the tradition in a modified form. An all night wake is held the night before the funeral. The body has already been prepared and placed in a casket by a licensed funeral director. It is rare for family members to participate in the bathing and dressing of the body. The evening before the funeral, the wake starts, usually in a community center or a public hall. Although our congregation still allows for all night wakes, most do not. A gymnasium or community center is a more likely location for a wake. The wake lasts from 12 to 15 hours and consists of people coming and going. There is usually a meal served and snacks and beverages are available throughout the wake. A time of formal story telling and prayers is often a part of the wake sometime in the evening.
The traditions of a funeral give away among plains tribes have also shifted with the times. The give away at the funeral was, in most cases, modest. A warrior owned only his clothing, his weapons and his horses. Often clothing was minimal. When a warrior died in battle, it was not uncommon for his weapons and horses to be lost in the battle. When a person died after an illness or of old age, there was often time for the individual to give away possessions prior to death. Whatever possessions remained at the time of death were quickly given away so that the spirit would not be encumbered by possessions as it made its transition from this world to the next. A larger give away was common after a year had passed. Given away on this occasion were the possessions and handwork of the mourners.
The wake has an important role in the process of grieving. Because it usually involves a viewing of the body it offers an opportunity for the reality of the death to be absorbed by the mourners. The time of intense remembering and storytelling reinforce memories and make it easier to tell the stories and to remember at a later date. The wake also provides an opportunity for mourners to meditate on the simple fact that we are all mortal. We will all one day die from this life. Shared grief and tears provide an alternative to the sense of loneliness and isolation that are often a part of grief in our modern society.
Tonight is the night of our wake service that is a part of our Holy Week observances. The format is relatively simple. We have a good meal together, and share songs and stories about Jesus’ life. People re-tell the ancient stories as reported in the Gospels and also tell of their own experiences of encounters with the resurrected Jesus. We put up a display of artwork and show slides of paintings and drawings that depict Jesus.
We spend an evening in which we allow the reality of death to be apparent as we think of our own mortality.
One of the deepest mysteries of our relationship with God is also one of its greatest miracles. In Jesus, God shared the totality of human experience. Unlike the gods of Roman and Greek mythology, Jesus wasn't a temporary experiment in human living. Rather, Jesus shared the entire experience from birth to death. Jesus was born a human birth and he died a human death with all of the pain and suffering that can be involved in those events. We live with the knowledge that there is nothing in life or death that God has not experienced and that God does not share as we journey through our lives.
In a few days, the attention of our congregation will turn to the glory and surprise of Jesus’ resurrection. But for a while this week, it seems appropriate to sit for a while with the reality of his death. Because we will all experience both the death of loved ones and our own deaths, it seems appropriate that we practice the process of grieving and remembering. Because the promises of God are not only given to us, but also to our children and grandchildren, it seems appropriate that we carefully craft opportunities to speak of death, loss and grief with our children as we pass on the traditions of our people from generation to generation.
The transition from last night’s blues concert to tonight’s wake service is fairly dramatic. The stage and lighting need to be taken down and stored. The tables and displays need to be set up in a new pattern to make the room ready and welcoming for people as they arrive for a meal and the opportunity to share stories. The piano has to be moved. Food must be prepared. Just as is the case when a loved one dies, there is much that needs to be done in a short time table.
Last night, after the blues concert, one of the members of our congregation was commenting on the long hours that are a part of this week. The person was rightly noting that I get tired. Grieving is exhausting. Getting tired isn’t the worst thing that can happen. When a loved one dies, sleep patterns are disrupted, exhaustion comes close. Getting tired is part of the process. Having tasks to complete in the midst of the disruption can be a part of the healing. Just getting up and brushing your teeth can be a reminder that life goes on.
Our Holy Week journey continues and it is indeed a journey. We will pray for strength and endurance. Rest will come soon enough. For now we stay awake and watch.