Children in today's world
20/06/14 07:14
There has been a lot said and written about the differences in the way children are being raised in our world of devices and technologies. I’ve read articles about the new generation of children who constantly have devices in their hands; spend most of their waking hours looking at television, computers and other devices with video displays; and inhabit a world of virtual reality through their video games. I am no expert in child development, but I do spend a lot of time observing and enjoying the children in our church and community. What I know is that it is very possible for parents to be intentional about their children’s access to media and make wise choices in the midst of an ever-changing world.
When our children were young, they were aware that they didn’t have as much exposure to television as some of their peers. Sometimes they saw it as a kind of deprivation. “So and so gets to watch television whenever he wants,” we’d hear. But we had convictions about what was appropriate and our children watched much less television than others. They had limits on what movies they were allowed to watch and, for the most part, we didn’t use the television as a babysitter, but rather watched programs with them and discussed what they were seeing.
We worked hard to provide an environment that was rich with other activities and events. We went to the park, provided indoor and outdoor toys, played games and encouraged learning. We were busy like other parents, but we did make intentional time for our children. Though we both had careers and our own work, we arranged our work lives so that one of us could be home with our children.
But that was a different time and the world is changing.
Most of the parents in our church have two full time jobs and their family requires childcare for many hours ever day. They work hard to provide a loving and supportive environment for their children and make careful choices about childcare, but they fill their children’s lives with activities and have family schedules that are very full. Even on weekends, when the parents have more time off from work, the children are going full time from lessons to games and other organized activities.
And today’s children are getting plenty of screen time. They have hand-held video games. They ride in cars that have video displays that play movies and other entertainments. Their homes have large screen televisions that are connected to the Internet and an endless supply of videos and movies and programs. Their parents relax in front of their home entertainment systems and the children see how important computers and other devices are to the parents. They want to play with those devices as much as possible.
In the midst of all of this are a few families who are very intentional about their children. They make decisions not to fill their home with excessive devices and video displays. It is possible to make conscious decisions without being a luddite. There are ways to use computers and tablets and cell phones without having them dominate your life and time. These parents choose other activities, games and projects for their children. And they work hard to spend as much time with their children as they are able. This means that their children aren’t over-enrolled in games and programs and other activities.
At the age of three our grandson does get to watch a little television. He might watch an episode of “Bob the Builder” without commercials some days. But he doesn’t watch television every day. He has a room filled with creative toys and is allowed to set up has train tracks all around the room and to play with his cars. He is allowed to draw and cut and paste at his desk and there are lots of other activities that allow for free play and imagination. He has opportunities to play outdoors each day and most days there are times to play with other children. His parents made the decision to open a home day care so that his mother could be at home and he could grow up with more contact with her. When his father gets home from work, family is the center of his attention.
I realize that I am terribly biased, and make no apologies for thinking that our grandchildren are the most wonderful in the world. But the result of intentional parenting is a child who is delightful, creative and really fun to be with.
Yesterday we went to a park with a play structure. Our grandson played on the structure for a while and observed what the other children were doing. Most of the other children were older and they did not invite him to join their games. He had no trouble entertaining himself with the slides and going up and down the structure. After a while, however, he sought out games that kept his grandparents engaged. For those games, no equipment was needed. There was a crawl into the bushes to explore the spaces under the low branches and kind of modified hide and seek game. There were stories to tell from his imagination about the things he was thinking. He was clearly at home in his world and didn’t need equipment or devices to have a good time.
Having grown up in the outdoors playing with sticks and climbing trees it seemed so natural for me to be playing with my grandson in this way. I didn’t have to know the names of the characters in the television programs or follow the stories on the screen. Instead we made up our own narrative and characters and entertained ourselves with simple games and wordplay.
I suppose there will always be children whose parents don’t have enough time and who are raised with a bit too much technology and not enough contact. But in the midst of this complex society are plenty of children who are raised intentionally with parents who are doing a wonderful job in their role as nurturers and guides for young ones.
Being with our grandchildren, I feel less need to complain about the things that are wrong with our changing world and find more joy in appreciating the wonderful people who are growing up to provide a new generation in this fascinating world.
When our children were young, they were aware that they didn’t have as much exposure to television as some of their peers. Sometimes they saw it as a kind of deprivation. “So and so gets to watch television whenever he wants,” we’d hear. But we had convictions about what was appropriate and our children watched much less television than others. They had limits on what movies they were allowed to watch and, for the most part, we didn’t use the television as a babysitter, but rather watched programs with them and discussed what they were seeing.
We worked hard to provide an environment that was rich with other activities and events. We went to the park, provided indoor and outdoor toys, played games and encouraged learning. We were busy like other parents, but we did make intentional time for our children. Though we both had careers and our own work, we arranged our work lives so that one of us could be home with our children.
But that was a different time and the world is changing.
Most of the parents in our church have two full time jobs and their family requires childcare for many hours ever day. They work hard to provide a loving and supportive environment for their children and make careful choices about childcare, but they fill their children’s lives with activities and have family schedules that are very full. Even on weekends, when the parents have more time off from work, the children are going full time from lessons to games and other organized activities.
And today’s children are getting plenty of screen time. They have hand-held video games. They ride in cars that have video displays that play movies and other entertainments. Their homes have large screen televisions that are connected to the Internet and an endless supply of videos and movies and programs. Their parents relax in front of their home entertainment systems and the children see how important computers and other devices are to the parents. They want to play with those devices as much as possible.
In the midst of all of this are a few families who are very intentional about their children. They make decisions not to fill their home with excessive devices and video displays. It is possible to make conscious decisions without being a luddite. There are ways to use computers and tablets and cell phones without having them dominate your life and time. These parents choose other activities, games and projects for their children. And they work hard to spend as much time with their children as they are able. This means that their children aren’t over-enrolled in games and programs and other activities.
At the age of three our grandson does get to watch a little television. He might watch an episode of “Bob the Builder” without commercials some days. But he doesn’t watch television every day. He has a room filled with creative toys and is allowed to set up has train tracks all around the room and to play with his cars. He is allowed to draw and cut and paste at his desk and there are lots of other activities that allow for free play and imagination. He has opportunities to play outdoors each day and most days there are times to play with other children. His parents made the decision to open a home day care so that his mother could be at home and he could grow up with more contact with her. When his father gets home from work, family is the center of his attention.
I realize that I am terribly biased, and make no apologies for thinking that our grandchildren are the most wonderful in the world. But the result of intentional parenting is a child who is delightful, creative and really fun to be with.
Yesterday we went to a park with a play structure. Our grandson played on the structure for a while and observed what the other children were doing. Most of the other children were older and they did not invite him to join their games. He had no trouble entertaining himself with the slides and going up and down the structure. After a while, however, he sought out games that kept his grandparents engaged. For those games, no equipment was needed. There was a crawl into the bushes to explore the spaces under the low branches and kind of modified hide and seek game. There were stories to tell from his imagination about the things he was thinking. He was clearly at home in his world and didn’t need equipment or devices to have a good time.
Having grown up in the outdoors playing with sticks and climbing trees it seemed so natural for me to be playing with my grandson in this way. I didn’t have to know the names of the characters in the television programs or follow the stories on the screen. Instead we made up our own narrative and characters and entertained ourselves with simple games and wordplay.
I suppose there will always be children whose parents don’t have enough time and who are raised with a bit too much technology and not enough contact. But in the midst of this complex society are plenty of children who are raised intentionally with parents who are doing a wonderful job in their role as nurturers and guides for young ones.
Being with our grandchildren, I feel less need to complain about the things that are wrong with our changing world and find more joy in appreciating the wonderful people who are growing up to provide a new generation in this fascinating world.