Unanswerable questions
12/11/13 05:25
As a Sheriff’s Chaplain and a member of the Pennington County LOSS (local outreach to survivors of suicide) team, I have probably seen the immediate aftermath of a death by suicide than the average person. As a person who has been involved in suicide response and support for many years and as one trained in ASIST (applied suicide intervention skills training), I have probably thought about the dynamics of suicide more than is typical. I have been diligent in keeping up with regular continuing training. I watch the International Survivors of Suicide Telecast each year, even when other commitments prevent me from attending the public showing in our community. I keep up with research on suicide and suicide prevention through my professional membership in the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). I have participated in Out of the Darkness Community Walks and even been a speaker at events for Survivors of Suicide.
Having said that, it is important to add that I don’t understand suicide. I do not know what is going through the mind of the victims of suicide at the moment of their death. I have witnessed the pain of loss. I understand the dynamics of the unique nature of suicide grief. I have tried to learn as much as I am able, but I don’t understand suicide.
I would submit that no one does, not even the experts.
A critical piece of evidence about the nature of suicide is lost with each death by suicide - the thoughts of the one who dies.There is much that can be learned by studies of those who attempt suicide and survive, and such studies are helpful, but we still don’t have all of the information involved. We never will.
International Survivors of Suicide Day will be Saturday, November 23, 2013. Our church is one of many locations around the world that will provide a safe and healing space where everyone can comfortably participate in a way that is meaningful. The diverse group of survivors will discuss their losses and how they cope and listen to a panel of experts with the latest information on suicide, suicide grief, and recovery.
As I continue to work with others in our community to find ways of engaging in effective suicide prevention, I know that there is much more we can do to save lives. Understanding of the nature of mental illness combined with trained community resource people and adequate mental health services can make a big difference. Depression, a major factor in suicide can be effectively treated in the vast majority of cases.
Recently I have been pondering a death by suicide that occurred in December 2010. I did not know the victim. I never met any of the members of his family. I only know the things that were reported in newspapers and other media. As with every suicide there is much that we do not know. This particular suicide received so much media attention that it is hard to know the true meaning and impact of the event.
The known facts are relatively simple: At midday on December 17, 2010, a fruit vendor named Mohamed Bouazizi walked to the offices of the regional government. Standing in the street outside the entrance, he doused himself with a can of gasoline and struck a match to his clothing. Shouting, “How do you expect me to make a living?” he quickly succumbed to his burns. Although the flames were extinguished and he lived for another eighteen days, he never woke from his coma.
We know the story because by the time of his burial on January 4, the signs of a powerful change were sweeping across North Africa and the Middle East. It was dubbed “Arab Spring” by reporters and observers. The subsequent revolt and revolution that swept through the area resulted in changes of government in Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya and a long civil war in Syria. The changes are not as dramatic as they once appeared. It seems that there is more to changing centuries of culture and government than a simple outcry and an attempt to impose Western-style democracy. The road to freedom will be long and rough.
I guess there is a little bit more that we know about Mohamed Bouazizi. We know that earlier in the day the he died local officials, claiming that he did not have a vendor’s license overturned his cart and confiscated his scales. Witnesses said they also slapped and spat on him. Bouazizi was the sole breadwinner for a family of eight and he simply did not have the cash to pay the usual bribe required in such situations. He went to the local police station to complain about the incident, but his complaints fell of deaf ears. The police offered no help in his situation.
His death has become a symbol in Tunisia and across the region. He has been hailed as a martyr. He has been uplifted as a rebel who was no longer willing to live under the harsh conditions that were imposed upon him by a repressive regime. I even heard the Patrick Henry quote mentioned in regard to Bouazizi, “Give me liberty or give me death!”
But we have no knowledge that Bouazizi was trying to make a political statement. We have no knowledge of his mental clarity or lack of it. We do not know how depressed he was, though the conditions might well have lead him to despair.
And we know little of the seven grieving survivors of his immediate family who were left not only with deep grief, but without the means to earn a living and feed themselves. Much has happened in the nearly three years since he died, but I know that the family is still burdened with grief and struggling to understand a loss that defies understanding.
We want to find meaning in every tragedy. We want every life to have a purpose. And we can only speculate on what might have happened had he not died on that day.
Every suicide leaves us with unanswered and unanswerable questions.
Having said that, it is important to add that I don’t understand suicide. I do not know what is going through the mind of the victims of suicide at the moment of their death. I have witnessed the pain of loss. I understand the dynamics of the unique nature of suicide grief. I have tried to learn as much as I am able, but I don’t understand suicide.
I would submit that no one does, not even the experts.
A critical piece of evidence about the nature of suicide is lost with each death by suicide - the thoughts of the one who dies.There is much that can be learned by studies of those who attempt suicide and survive, and such studies are helpful, but we still don’t have all of the information involved. We never will.
International Survivors of Suicide Day will be Saturday, November 23, 2013. Our church is one of many locations around the world that will provide a safe and healing space where everyone can comfortably participate in a way that is meaningful. The diverse group of survivors will discuss their losses and how they cope and listen to a panel of experts with the latest information on suicide, suicide grief, and recovery.
As I continue to work with others in our community to find ways of engaging in effective suicide prevention, I know that there is much more we can do to save lives. Understanding of the nature of mental illness combined with trained community resource people and adequate mental health services can make a big difference. Depression, a major factor in suicide can be effectively treated in the vast majority of cases.
Recently I have been pondering a death by suicide that occurred in December 2010. I did not know the victim. I never met any of the members of his family. I only know the things that were reported in newspapers and other media. As with every suicide there is much that we do not know. This particular suicide received so much media attention that it is hard to know the true meaning and impact of the event.
The known facts are relatively simple: At midday on December 17, 2010, a fruit vendor named Mohamed Bouazizi walked to the offices of the regional government. Standing in the street outside the entrance, he doused himself with a can of gasoline and struck a match to his clothing. Shouting, “How do you expect me to make a living?” he quickly succumbed to his burns. Although the flames were extinguished and he lived for another eighteen days, he never woke from his coma.
We know the story because by the time of his burial on January 4, the signs of a powerful change were sweeping across North Africa and the Middle East. It was dubbed “Arab Spring” by reporters and observers. The subsequent revolt and revolution that swept through the area resulted in changes of government in Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya and a long civil war in Syria. The changes are not as dramatic as they once appeared. It seems that there is more to changing centuries of culture and government than a simple outcry and an attempt to impose Western-style democracy. The road to freedom will be long and rough.
I guess there is a little bit more that we know about Mohamed Bouazizi. We know that earlier in the day the he died local officials, claiming that he did not have a vendor’s license overturned his cart and confiscated his scales. Witnesses said they also slapped and spat on him. Bouazizi was the sole breadwinner for a family of eight and he simply did not have the cash to pay the usual bribe required in such situations. He went to the local police station to complain about the incident, but his complaints fell of deaf ears. The police offered no help in his situation.
His death has become a symbol in Tunisia and across the region. He has been hailed as a martyr. He has been uplifted as a rebel who was no longer willing to live under the harsh conditions that were imposed upon him by a repressive regime. I even heard the Patrick Henry quote mentioned in regard to Bouazizi, “Give me liberty or give me death!”
But we have no knowledge that Bouazizi was trying to make a political statement. We have no knowledge of his mental clarity or lack of it. We do not know how depressed he was, though the conditions might well have lead him to despair.
And we know little of the seven grieving survivors of his immediate family who were left not only with deep grief, but without the means to earn a living and feed themselves. Much has happened in the nearly three years since he died, but I know that the family is still burdened with grief and struggling to understand a loss that defies understanding.
We want to find meaning in every tragedy. We want every life to have a purpose. And we can only speculate on what might have happened had he not died on that day.
Every suicide leaves us with unanswered and unanswerable questions.