On being tired
29/07/13 05:31
There is certainly more than one way of being tired. I am usually tired on Sunday after leading worship. I put a lot of emotional and physical energy into planning and leading a service. We have high standards for the coordination of music and liturgy. Our team style of worship requires some of the sensitivities to theatrics and timing that is part of any good presentation. There is a level of mental energy required for the memorization that I do for each service. And when it is all over, I’m tired. It isn’t uncommon for me to take a nap early on Sunday afternoon. Yesterday, we had a special memorial service for Marc Wessels at our church. There were other speakers, but the service, the bulletin, and the organization had to be prepared at the last minute. When the day was drawing to an end, I was tired, feeling a bit drained.
That kind of tired is different from the physical tiredness that comes from a day of hard work. When I participate in a splitting party for the Woodchucks, which is usually about 3 hours of good physical labor, and then spend the rest of that day mowing my lawn and doing other yard work, I can fall to sleep in the evening and feel the muscles relaxing as I enjoy the comfort of simply stopping the work. That is a different feeling than I have after having led worship.
I have a memory of the tiredness that comes from having very young children in our home. The unceasing activity that is required of parents of children who need constant supervision combined with nights where sleep is interrupted, sometimes multiple times in the same night leaves one with a kind of overwhelming tiredness. When you do get the opportunity, you find that you have the ability to wake yourself and listen to the quiet because you are used to the need to be constantly aware.
These days, I experience a form of tiredness that includes a little bit of ache. My muscles and joints don’t have the physical strength that I once enjoyed. I’m not at all feeble, and I experience very few restrictions to my activities, but there are some tasks that I do that leave me with a bit of stiffness. Tasks that are infrequently performed such as splitting wood by hand or carrying things up ladders or operating a pressure washer can still be done without much trouble, but whereas there used to be a time when I could tackle a new job and then forget about it, these days, I can feel it in my legs and shoulders after doing some work that isn’t part of my routine. In most cases, if I simply keep up the work, I can regain lost strength and the aches will go away. Sometimes, I just have creakiness and pain that are a part of aging and the best thing to do is to ignore it and get on with what needs to be done.
I am, of course, capable of making myself tired in a variety of different ways. I can be mentally and physically exhausted at the same time. Still, I know that I am not routinely running short of sleep as was the case when we had a household with babies and toddlers. These days there are enough hours in the day for a reasonable sleep almost every night and I find ways to sneak in a nap on a fairly regular basis.
It is probably not a deep discovery or a significant revelation, but I have found that there are plenty of things in this life that are worse than being tired. In fact, with six decades under my belt, I have come to enjoy the feeling of being tired – at least a little bit. Being physically tired comes with the satisfaction of having accomplished work. Being mentally tired comes with the knowledge that I have given my best to an event or project. And sleep is a delicious reward. A cool breeze blowing through the window and a warm quilt on the bed is a great combination for comfort.
I used to think that I’m not a very good sleeper. I wake early and seem ready to get out of bed. There are some nights when I sleep for an hour or two and then my mind gets to work on solving a problem and I can’t go back to sleep. It is not at all unusual for me to get up and read a book for an hour at some point during the night. But I no longer consider myself to be a poor sleeper. I’m pretty good at sleeping when I am tired. What I’m not good at is staying in bed when I’m not sleeping. I do better if I get up, even if it means that I will go back to bed a little later.
Having recently been on vacation, I recognize that my sleep patterns are a bit different when I am away from my usual work routine. I made a point of not using my alarm to wake myself at all during my vacation and some days I did sleep in a bit longer than usual. But then some evenings I stayed up later than usual. Now that I am home, I set the alarm. The alarm is not so much to wake me as it is to keep me from worrying about oversleeping. I can sleep better knowing that I will be reminded when it is time to get up. Otherwise I’ll be checking the clock all night long.
So I get tired these days. But I’ve been getting tired for most of my life.
There is simply nothing wrong with being tired. It is a part of being alive. It is the result of investing energy in meaningful work. It is an anticipation of the reward of sleep.
And it goes with the mostly white beard and hair quite well. It’s not bad having people expecting you to take a nap from time to time. I don’t disappoint them.
That kind of tired is different from the physical tiredness that comes from a day of hard work. When I participate in a splitting party for the Woodchucks, which is usually about 3 hours of good physical labor, and then spend the rest of that day mowing my lawn and doing other yard work, I can fall to sleep in the evening and feel the muscles relaxing as I enjoy the comfort of simply stopping the work. That is a different feeling than I have after having led worship.
I have a memory of the tiredness that comes from having very young children in our home. The unceasing activity that is required of parents of children who need constant supervision combined with nights where sleep is interrupted, sometimes multiple times in the same night leaves one with a kind of overwhelming tiredness. When you do get the opportunity, you find that you have the ability to wake yourself and listen to the quiet because you are used to the need to be constantly aware.
These days, I experience a form of tiredness that includes a little bit of ache. My muscles and joints don’t have the physical strength that I once enjoyed. I’m not at all feeble, and I experience very few restrictions to my activities, but there are some tasks that I do that leave me with a bit of stiffness. Tasks that are infrequently performed such as splitting wood by hand or carrying things up ladders or operating a pressure washer can still be done without much trouble, but whereas there used to be a time when I could tackle a new job and then forget about it, these days, I can feel it in my legs and shoulders after doing some work that isn’t part of my routine. In most cases, if I simply keep up the work, I can regain lost strength and the aches will go away. Sometimes, I just have creakiness and pain that are a part of aging and the best thing to do is to ignore it and get on with what needs to be done.
I am, of course, capable of making myself tired in a variety of different ways. I can be mentally and physically exhausted at the same time. Still, I know that I am not routinely running short of sleep as was the case when we had a household with babies and toddlers. These days there are enough hours in the day for a reasonable sleep almost every night and I find ways to sneak in a nap on a fairly regular basis.
It is probably not a deep discovery or a significant revelation, but I have found that there are plenty of things in this life that are worse than being tired. In fact, with six decades under my belt, I have come to enjoy the feeling of being tired – at least a little bit. Being physically tired comes with the satisfaction of having accomplished work. Being mentally tired comes with the knowledge that I have given my best to an event or project. And sleep is a delicious reward. A cool breeze blowing through the window and a warm quilt on the bed is a great combination for comfort.
I used to think that I’m not a very good sleeper. I wake early and seem ready to get out of bed. There are some nights when I sleep for an hour or two and then my mind gets to work on solving a problem and I can’t go back to sleep. It is not at all unusual for me to get up and read a book for an hour at some point during the night. But I no longer consider myself to be a poor sleeper. I’m pretty good at sleeping when I am tired. What I’m not good at is staying in bed when I’m not sleeping. I do better if I get up, even if it means that I will go back to bed a little later.
Having recently been on vacation, I recognize that my sleep patterns are a bit different when I am away from my usual work routine. I made a point of not using my alarm to wake myself at all during my vacation and some days I did sleep in a bit longer than usual. But then some evenings I stayed up later than usual. Now that I am home, I set the alarm. The alarm is not so much to wake me as it is to keep me from worrying about oversleeping. I can sleep better knowing that I will be reminded when it is time to get up. Otherwise I’ll be checking the clock all night long.
So I get tired these days. But I’ve been getting tired for most of my life.
There is simply nothing wrong with being tired. It is a part of being alive. It is the result of investing energy in meaningful work. It is an anticipation of the reward of sleep.
And it goes with the mostly white beard and hair quite well. It’s not bad having people expecting you to take a nap from time to time. I don’t disappoint them.