Teaching the Path of Service
23/02/12 05:22
I’ve been involved in the church all of my life. I grew up in the church, I was active in church as a college student and when I completed my education I began to serve congregations. Over the years I have seen the institutional church at its best and at its worst.
I have been involved in investigations where clergy misconduct was documented and actions recommended. I have been present at meetings where angry statements have been made and feelings have been hurt. I have supported colleagues when they were victims of abuse by bullying church leaders. I have a colleague who was raped in her church office. I have listened as church members reported their anguish over a division in their congregation. I have sat at the table of people who were forced to leave a congregation they had belonged to and loved for years. I have witnessed hostility towards newcomers and visitors.
I am fully aware that church members can be incredibly mean to each other. I know that there is a considerable amount of behavior in churches that seems to me to be not “Christian” at all. There is no doubt in my mind that church people can be petty, mean spirited, rude, and cruel. No wonder the epistles are filled with advice on how to get along and how to reach beyond differences and disagreements.
But when I look back over my life in the church, these stories of ill behavior are not what I remember. I remember the quiet and faithful service of a church janitor who always worked more hours than those for which she was paid, who made extra trips to the church to make sure it was ready for worship, and who worked even when she was ill because she wanted the church to be clean and welcoming.
I remember the people who quietly paid for a tank of gas when a young woman was trying to make ends meet.
I remember the gentle servants who fold and collate bulletins, who prepare newsletters for mailing, who water the plants and do all sorts of behind-the-scene work for which they will never receive recognition or even thanks.
I remember the people who wrote notes of thanks to their pastor.
I remember the workers who turned out to clean up the church yard, to split firewood, to put up the Christmas tree, to set up the fellowship hall and wash the windows.
I remember the camp counselors who gave up a week of their vacation for the sake of the campers.
I remember the people who faithfully visited the old curmudgeon as he became more cranky and ornery and hostile long after it ceased to be any fun simply because they represented the only connection between that person and the church.
I remember the people who came to the funeral of the recluse that no one knew because they were determined to support his brother in the midst of his grief.
I could go on for pages and pages of memories of service that has been given and acts of kindness that I have witnessed. There is a quality of selfless service that one gets to witness when one hangs around the church. Not everyone who attends committee meetings is interested in power and has a need to be in control. Not everyone who pauses for a cup of coffee starts to gossip as soon as they sit down. Sure the church has its share of characters, but it also has more than its share of genuinely faithful servants.
The question that arises each time I work with the children and the youth of the church, is how we teach the path of service to the next generation. Of course there is no substitute for teaching by example. Youth learn far more from what we do than from what we say. They are keen judges of our character and identity. That is why I am so deeply committed to mentorship as youth prepare for the rite of confirmation. Every young person deserves an “adult guarantor” who is not his or her parent, but another adult who believes in and advocates for that young person. I get to see some examples of excellent parenting skills but even children who grow up with the best of parents need other adults in their lives.
I also am convinced that our youth learn best when they engage in hands on mission. I’m not a big fan of youth raising funds for their own programs and projects. I know it is necessary for youth to work and save for trips and other special events, but if that is all that occurs in a church youth group I fear that the youth will think that church life is about getting things for oneself. The youth in our church provide leadership in raising funds for Church Response, in raising food for hungry people in our community, and in raising funds and awareness for our local Big Brothers Big Sisters organization. Ours isn’t anywhere near the largest congregation in our city, but our youth almost always are the biggest contributors to the annual Bowl for Kids sake fund raiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters. The only youth group to exceed them in the past decade is the honor society of a high school with 2,000 students. There isn’t another church group that comes close. I am not saying this to brag, but rather to identify something that is very important in the kind of youth ministry that we do in our congregation.
We are in the business of teaching discipleship and service. We are not about trying to be the biggest, the most fun, or the loudest youth group in town.
The long-term track record of church youth groups isn’t particularly good. Youth programs that are judged to be successful tend to produce adults who do not participate in the church. Our communities are filled with adults who were involved in youth programs that they continue to describe as exciting, but who never grasped that belonging to a church is about serving others, not about being entertained or about what you get for yourself.
The biggest complaint I hear about churches is: “it doesn’t meet my needs.”
We remain committed to helping young people discover that there is far more meaning in meeting the needs of others than in pursuing what’s in it for you.
I am fully aware that church members can be incredibly mean to each other. I know that there is a considerable amount of behavior in churches that seems to me to be not “Christian” at all. There is no doubt in my mind that church people can be petty, mean spirited, rude, and cruel. No wonder the epistles are filled with advice on how to get along and how to reach beyond differences and disagreements.
But when I look back over my life in the church, these stories of ill behavior are not what I remember. I remember the quiet and faithful service of a church janitor who always worked more hours than those for which she was paid, who made extra trips to the church to make sure it was ready for worship, and who worked even when she was ill because she wanted the church to be clean and welcoming.
I remember the people who quietly paid for a tank of gas when a young woman was trying to make ends meet.
I remember the people who wrote notes of thanks to their pastor.
I remember the workers who turned out to clean up the church yard, to split firewood, to put up the Christmas tree, to set up the fellowship hall and wash the windows.
I remember the camp counselors who gave up a week of their vacation for the sake of the campers.
I remember the people who faithfully visited the old curmudgeon as he became more cranky and ornery and hostile long after it ceased to be any fun simply because they represented the only connection between that person and the church.
I remember the people who came to the funeral of the recluse that no one knew because they were determined to support his brother in the midst of his grief.
I could go on for pages and pages of memories of service that has been given and acts of kindness that I have witnessed. There is a quality of selfless service that one gets to witness when one hangs around the church. Not everyone who attends committee meetings is interested in power and has a need to be in control. Not everyone who pauses for a cup of coffee starts to gossip as soon as they sit down. Sure the church has its share of characters, but it also has more than its share of genuinely faithful servants.
I also am convinced that our youth learn best when they engage in hands on mission. I’m not a big fan of youth raising funds for their own programs and projects. I know it is necessary for youth to work and save for trips and other special events, but if that is all that occurs in a church youth group I fear that the youth will think that church life is about getting things for oneself. The youth in our church provide leadership in raising funds for Church Response, in raising food for hungry people in our community, and in raising funds and awareness for our local Big Brothers Big Sisters organization. Ours isn’t anywhere near the largest congregation in our city, but our youth almost always are the biggest contributors to the annual Bowl for Kids sake fund raiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters. The only youth group to exceed them in the past decade is the honor society of a high school with 2,000 students. There isn’t another church group that comes close. I am not saying this to brag, but rather to identify something that is very important in the kind of youth ministry that we do in our congregation.
The long-term track record of church youth groups isn’t particularly good. Youth programs that are judged to be successful tend to produce adults who do not participate in the church. Our communities are filled with adults who were involved in youth programs that they continue to describe as exciting, but who never grasped that belonging to a church is about serving others, not about being entertained or about what you get for yourself.
The biggest complaint I hear about churches is: “it doesn’t meet my needs.”
We remain committed to helping young people discover that there is far more meaning in meeting the needs of others than in pursuing what’s in it for you.