Walking
08/06/12 05:11
Tomorrow night is a grim anniversary in Rapid City. On the night of June 9 – 10, 1972, a devastating flood roared through our city, killing hundred and wreaking havoc in one of our nation’s deadliest flash floods. I will write more about the flood in a later blog, but the night is also the time for a walk of hope. To date, more than 2,100 walkers have registered for the San Francisco Overnight, an 18-mile walk through the city, from dusk until dawn. More than 450 volunteers will provide support and security for the walkers. They begin their dark as the sun departs from sight and walk into the darkness. Then they walk through the darkness into the dawn of a new day.
The walk is symbolic of the grief those walkers have experienced. Sometimes, it gets darker before the hope becomes visible.
Out of the Darkness walks are designed to bring together survivors of suicide loss, people with depression and other mental disorders, mental health professionals and advocates to walk side-by-side, arm-in-arm, hand-in-hand. The purpose of the walks is to assist those who are grieving loss from suicide and to prevent future suicides by public education and awareness.
There is still an awful stigma attached to suicide in our country. Too many people do not want to talk about the subject. The things we refuse to talk about do not go away. They go underground. And underground they become surrounded by myth and rumor and the truth is not told. Out of the Darkness provides people with an opportunity to tell their story – and the story of a loved one who died as a victim of mental illness. “To me, the Overnight has given me much more than a chance to tell my story. It’s given me a chance to tell that story in a way that makes it safe for others to tell theirs, too.” Said Andrew Nelson, 28, of Lenexa, Kansas. Walking with his sister, Jenny, they have formed the group “Mom Squad” to connect with others who have lost a mother to suicide.
Since 2008, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has hosted Out of the Darkness walks to provide grieving people with a forum for healing. I have yet to participate in an overnight. Constraints on time and travel have kept me from the urban areas where the walks are held. But I have participated in suicide awareness walks. I have a complete set of t-shirts from the annual Rapid City suicide awareness walks.
There is something important about walking and working through grief. I did not lose my mother to suicide. She died only at the end of along and meaningful life. But the grief was real. Unlike those who lose loved ones to suicide, there was an outpouring of understanding and support from my community. However, the pain was real. I found that crucial to my healing were long walks along the Chehalis Trail in Washington State taken during our sabbatical in May of 2011. We simply walked, allowed our minds to wander and our bodies to grow naturally tired. And with every step we pounded a bit of our grief into the ground. With every step we began to release the past and open ourselves to the future. It was one of the most therapeutic things I have ever done.
I have been following the pilgrimage of another walker. On April 24, Dennis Asselin, 63, stepped out of his front door. For 45 days he walked. He walked from Philadelphia to Boston. He walked in memory of his son, Nathaniel, who suffered from a severe form of a rare mental illness called dysmorphic disorder. He arrived in Boston yesterday.
A Pilgrimage is a journey undertaken for the spiritual transformation of the individual and of the community to which the individual belongs. For centuries faithful people have believed that not only is the traveler transformed by a pilgrimage, so too is the community from which the traveler has left and to which the traveler will return. A pilgrimage may have a specific goal, but the pilgrimage is about the journey, not the destination. The journey includes separation and reunion and acknowledges that we are changed and transformed by both. The traveler has experiences that are distinct from that of the community. The community changes in the absence of the traveler. When the reconnect and tell their stories, they experience the spiritual truth that love transcends both time and space. It is an opportunity for an encounter with the eternal.
Dennis Asselin walked every day until he reached Boston yesterday. “I did it really to pound a lot of my grief into the ground, and I really did kind of let go of the feeling of loss,” he said. “To let go of the anger about that, the injustice of that, and the cruelty of all that, and the beautiful metaphor of moving forward is what it is.”
The walkers are on a pilgrimage. They transform our community.
Suicide grief is unique. People do not understand suicide. They fear it. They blame the victim. Our language reflects our attitudes. When someone says, “committed suicide,” they use the same verb that is used for “committed a crime.” Suicide is still considered a crime in many states. It is considered by some to be the result of weakness or a moral failing. It is neither. Suicide is the result of untreated or inadequately treated mental illness. Like other illnesses mental illnesses can be chronic. They can also have a sudden onset. Like other illnesses, there are effective treatments for many mental illnesses. Over 80% of persons who are treated for chronic depression experience relief from their symptoms.
We can be more supportive of those who have lost loved ones to suicide. We can raise funds to increase research for more effective treatment and prevention of mental illness. We can join in campaigns to stop bullying and educate children and youth about the dangers of certain behaviors. We can talk to one another.
One man walked from Philadelphia to Boston.
He was never alone, even when he could not see anyone by his side. That is the nature of pilgrimage. There is no place to which a pilgrim can journey where God is not present. As an ancient saying about pilgrimage goes, “God is at the departure. God is at the destination. God is alongside the journey.”
We all have an opportunity to take steps out of the darkness and into the dawn.
Out of the Darkness walks are designed to bring together survivors of suicide loss, people with depression and other mental disorders, mental health professionals and advocates to walk side-by-side, arm-in-arm, hand-in-hand. The purpose of the walks is to assist those who are grieving loss from suicide and to prevent future suicides by public education and awareness.
There is still an awful stigma attached to suicide in our country. Too many people do not want to talk about the subject. The things we refuse to talk about do not go away. They go underground. And underground they become surrounded by myth and rumor and the truth is not told. Out of the Darkness provides people with an opportunity to tell their story – and the story of a loved one who died as a victim of mental illness. “To me, the Overnight has given me much more than a chance to tell my story. It’s given me a chance to tell that story in a way that makes it safe for others to tell theirs, too.” Said Andrew Nelson, 28, of Lenexa, Kansas. Walking with his sister, Jenny, they have formed the group “Mom Squad” to connect with others who have lost a mother to suicide.
Since 2008, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has hosted Out of the Darkness walks to provide grieving people with a forum for healing. I have yet to participate in an overnight. Constraints on time and travel have kept me from the urban areas where the walks are held. But I have participated in suicide awareness walks. I have a complete set of t-shirts from the annual Rapid City suicide awareness walks.
There is something important about walking and working through grief. I did not lose my mother to suicide. She died only at the end of along and meaningful life. But the grief was real. Unlike those who lose loved ones to suicide, there was an outpouring of understanding and support from my community. However, the pain was real. I found that crucial to my healing were long walks along the Chehalis Trail in Washington State taken during our sabbatical in May of 2011. We simply walked, allowed our minds to wander and our bodies to grow naturally tired. And with every step we pounded a bit of our grief into the ground. With every step we began to release the past and open ourselves to the future. It was one of the most therapeutic things I have ever done.
A Pilgrimage is a journey undertaken for the spiritual transformation of the individual and of the community to which the individual belongs. For centuries faithful people have believed that not only is the traveler transformed by a pilgrimage, so too is the community from which the traveler has left and to which the traveler will return. A pilgrimage may have a specific goal, but the pilgrimage is about the journey, not the destination. The journey includes separation and reunion and acknowledges that we are changed and transformed by both. The traveler has experiences that are distinct from that of the community. The community changes in the absence of the traveler. When the reconnect and tell their stories, they experience the spiritual truth that love transcends both time and space. It is an opportunity for an encounter with the eternal.
Dennis Asselin walked every day until he reached Boston yesterday. “I did it really to pound a lot of my grief into the ground, and I really did kind of let go of the feeling of loss,” he said. “To let go of the anger about that, the injustice of that, and the cruelty of all that, and the beautiful metaphor of moving forward is what it is.”
The walkers are on a pilgrimage. They transform our community.
Suicide grief is unique. People do not understand suicide. They fear it. They blame the victim. Our language reflects our attitudes. When someone says, “committed suicide,” they use the same verb that is used for “committed a crime.” Suicide is still considered a crime in many states. It is considered by some to be the result of weakness or a moral failing. It is neither. Suicide is the result of untreated or inadequately treated mental illness. Like other illnesses mental illnesses can be chronic. They can also have a sudden onset. Like other illnesses, there are effective treatments for many mental illnesses. Over 80% of persons who are treated for chronic depression experience relief from their symptoms.
We can be more supportive of those who have lost loved ones to suicide. We can raise funds to increase research for more effective treatment and prevention of mental illness. We can join in campaigns to stop bullying and educate children and youth about the dangers of certain behaviors. We can talk to one another.
One man walked from Philadelphia to Boston.
He was never alone, even when he could not see anyone by his side. That is the nature of pilgrimage. There is no place to which a pilgrim can journey where God is not present. As an ancient saying about pilgrimage goes, “God is at the departure. God is at the destination. God is alongside the journey.”
We all have an opportunity to take steps out of the darkness and into the dawn.