Several years ago, there was a television advertisement for Merrill Lynch investments that featured a large Angus bull wandering through a china shop. In the ad, the bull moved carefully and purposefully, without knocking anything off of the shelves. I don’t watch much television, but I have a distinct memory of the advertisement. What is more I can remember what was being advertised, which is rare. I often see advertisements that catch my eye without really accomplishing their purpose: getting a company or product into my mind. Sometimes, real life imitates art, or so it seems. On Saturday night, a mall in the Pittsburgh area had an unusual visitor: a bear wandered into the Sears store. The bear ran through the parking lot of the Pittsburgh Mills Mall in Frazier about 9 p.m. and slipped into the Sears store using one of the automated doors. The bear then got stuck between two sets of doors, where it was tranquilized by wildlife officials and removed from the store.
A bull market is one that exhibits investor confidence with generally rising prices and increased investments. A bear market is a declining market, with investors selling more than they are buying. In reality, a bear visiting a Sears store is not a real market indicator. Then, of course, an advertisement carefully constructed for the purpose of getting people to invest with a particular broker probably isn’t a market indicator, either. Still, getting the bull to walk a precise path through the shop was a neat trick and the ad stuck in my mind. On the other hand, I suppose that the people who saw the bear in the Sears store will remember that as well.
It might not be a falling market, but a parking lot attendant in New York City took quite a ride last week. The garage, which also serves as a Hertz rental facility, has a large elevator to move cars between floors. It seems that the attendant drove a car into the elevator only to discover that the elevator wasn’t on that floor. The car plunged five floors and became stuck, injuring a worker on the first floor and the driver, who had to be extricated from the car by the New York Fire Department, which posted pictures on its Twitter feed. I understand that neither man was seriously injured, but it must have been a ride not to be repeated. The car was a total loss.
Another strange item I picked up from the Internet might be of interest to my napkin-folding friends. It appears that a recent discovery is changing what was previously believed about the history of fashion. It used to be accepted theory that women have only been wearing brassieres for a bit over 100 years, after the abandonment of tight corsets. However, University of Innsbruck archeologists found four linen brassieres dating from the Middle Ages in an Austrian Castle. After carbon dating, it was determined that these were genuine articles of underwear that were over 600 years old. BBC’s history magazine reported on the find that surprised scientists who thought they understood the history of women’s undergarments. I’m thinking it was a mistake for them to assume they understood such things in the first place.
Ever since reading The Incredible Journey as a kid, I’ve been intrigued by stories of traveling animals. According to the Associated Press, a 3-month-old kitten traveled 6,500 miles from Shanghai to Los Angeles in a shipping container without food or water. The tiny stow away was discovered when the shipping container was delivered to a business in Compton. Animal control officials say the kitten is eating and sleeping well and is alert and responsive.
Not all animals are cute and cuddly, however. I recently read an article on NBCnews.com about a Lakewood Washington woman who was out jogging with her dog, when the dog got lose and started chasing some raccoons. Among the raccoons was a mother with her babies. The dog treed the raccoons. When the woman went to retrieve her dog, the raccoons came out of the brush. At least five of them rushed at her. By the end of the incident, the woman was left with over 100 scratches, punctures and bite wounds. A witness reported seeing at least three really big raccoons attacking the woman while she was on the ground. She was transported to the hospital by ambulance and is expected to make a full recovery. According to the story, she plans to carry bear mace with her next time she goes jogging in the woods.
Lest you think that all of the news is bad, however, MSNBC reported that the 7-11 chain of convenience stores are experimenting with a new vending machine. The machine, described as being similar to a “slurpie” machine, dispenses mashed potatoes and gravy. Now there is a thought for you. Imagine being hit with hunger pains late at night. Just head down to the corner 7-11 and fill up a giant container with mashed potatoes and gravy. The machines re quite popular in Singapore, according to the 7-11 company. According to the news story, the machine is not yet in service in the United States. I’m not going to have any trouble waiting for it.
I guess it must be time for me to end my vacation and head back to work. I’ve been spending too much time looking at the Internet. Actually, it doesn’t take much time at all to find all sorts of strange stories in the news. Sometimes reality is as entertaining as fiction, and much harder to believe. I read a story about a man who strapped four children to the hood of his car and was arrested after police saw him driving with the children attached to the car hood with yellow straps. In another story, a 3 year-old was found walking down a Waiarapa highway in New Zealand after using her high chair to unlatch a door and leave her home. Apparently the toddler had been left alone in the high chair for more than two hours.
Maybe I should go back to reading fiction. The two novels I’ve read on this vacation seem to make more sense than the news stories I’ve been reading.
Copyright © 2012 by Ted Huffman. I wrote this. If you want to copy it, please ask for permission. There is a contact me button at the bottom of this page. If you want to share my blog a friend, please direct your friend to my web site.
