Yesterday was a typical busy day in he life of our congregation. Attendance at worship was a little lighter than usual, but there was a good spirit and an excess of food as the congregation shared a chili lunch with a few visitors following worship. Our organist, who is also a piano technician tuned the sanctuary piano after worship and shortly after he finished the artists for an afternoon concert showed up to warm up. The concert began at 3. While it was in session an afternoon emerging church gathering began. I met with that group for an hour before going to assist with the set up for an evening meal and presentation by a local Rotary group. In between the activities there was time for conversation with friends. Two conversations stand out because of the ways they contrast. In the first conversation, we spoke of our frustrations with too many meetings and how boards and committees can sap energy from real work. Talking about what we want to do can be so much less effective than simply doing the work that needs to be done.

I think that my tolerance for meetings has decreased as I age. I still attend a lot of meetings and I don’t know how to organize the church to respond to its calling without meetings. Still, we need to continually work to make meetings effective while honoring and respecting the time of those who participate. Some of the best meetings are short. It is, in part, an organizational task. When leaders are well-prepared, it is possible to leave a meeting with a feeling of accomplishment and success. Unfortunately, I attend a lot of meetings whose purpose is unclear that are filled with a lot of talk and not very much substance. Too often meetings have to be repeated because the original purpose of the meeting was not respected.

Less than an hour after the first conversation, I was speaking to another person who was clearly recruiting me to return to a board on which I served for 16 years. As we spoke I could remember the sense of freedom and excitement I felt less than a year ago when I decided to step aside from that particular board and allow others to assume leadership. As I listened to the speaker, there was no desire inside of me to return to that board. I believe in the work of the board. I support the organization. But I don’t feel the call to return to the board.

Maybe it is just my age.

I can remember when I felt honored to be recruited for a leadership position in a board or organization. I used to frequently volunteer to take minutes at meetings because I knew that serving in that role led to other leadership roles within the organization. If you are good a recording minutes people will notice and you’ll be asked to serve in other positions. These days, I am slow to volunteer.

I want to be a giver, and not just a consumer of life. I believe that we are all called to service. I want to support the organizations that add to the quality of life in our community. I want to invest my time and energy to build relationships, solve community problems, and serve others.

Adam Grant is professor of psychology at the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. He is also the school’s youngest tenured professor and its highest-rated professor. His book “Give and Take” examines ways in which generosity can enable success. While most business schools focus on passion, hard work, talent and luck as the primary factors driving success, Grant examines how givers contribute to others without expecting anything in return and how that quality enables them to achieve success in business and in life.

I have discovered a similar phenomenon in my work. In addition to a sort of continual process of fund-raising for the work of the church, I have been involved in raising funds for arts agencies and many other groups in our community. I used to speak of the benefits of giving with donors. There are tax breaks that can be obtained through charitable giving. Some organizations offer thank you gifts such as free concert tickets, memorabilia and other items. What I discovered is that the donors I approached weren’t motivated by the benefits that would come to them. What motivates the donors with whom I work is telling them how their gift helps others. It is far easier to raise money, in my opinion, when you talk about the benefits to others than when you speak of some benefit that might come back to the donor. People are inherently generous, at least many people are. And those who are not generous, or for whom the particular cause at hand is not the right project, probably aren’t going to give more than a token gift anyway.

Grant’s work is far more involved and insightful than reported here, but his book came to mind yesterday as I listened to the person trying to recruit me to return to the board. The speaker spoke only of the benefits to me: how I would enjoy the new members of the board, how I like working with artists, and how little time and effort it would take for me to serve. Missing from the appeal was any talk of what I could contribute: how the organization would be better off with my leadership.

It wasn’t hard for me to decline the offer. I have no shortage of meetings in my life and I can think of several other ways to contribute to the organization without serving on the board.

The truth is that the most important things in life are not connected to individual achievement. There is little about which I deeply care that rests on what I can do, achieve, or accomplish. The genuinely meaningful things in life are what we do together. I am far more interested in collaboration than in position.

Then, again, I may just be getting old.

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