Fathers
20/06/15 05:35
This has been a long week with lots of work and days that started early and ended late. It is typical of our life in the church and something that is known by a lot of other professions as well. Life offers opportunities and we respond. As a result, I’m a little tired this morning and sometimes when I’m tired my thinking tends towards the trivial instead of a topic that is deep with meaning.
Tomorrow is Father’s Day. That is the official spelling in the United States. You’ll see it on cards and in the official legislation establishing the holiday. I have no idea why we don’t spell it “Fathers’ Day.” After all there are many fathers whose lives are worth celebrating. When I think of Father’s Day, I think about my father, but also about my father-in-law. These days one of the thoughts that comes frequently to my mind is of my son, who has become a terrific father. I think that there is a legacy of good fathering that runs in my family.
Perhaps we want to celebrate our fathers one at a time instead of celebrating them because they belong to a group or class. If you stop to consider the number of fathers in the world, it is a pretty big group.
I don’t know the history of the holiday, but it is my understanding that Mother’s Day was established first and Father’s Day followed a few years later. It became a popular holiday across the US in the early years of the 20th Century and was established prior to World War I.
June is the most popular month for Father’s Day celebrations around the world. The third Sunday of June seems to be the most common date, with celebrations here in the US, in China, throughout the Caribbean and in many South American and African countries. A few countries, including Spain and Italy celebrate Father’s Day on March 19, the traditional feast day for Joseph, the father (or perhaps stepfather) of Jesus.
I thought it was fun in 2006, when we visited Australia, to note that south of the equator there are a few countries that celebrate the day in September. The first Sunday of September is the day of the holiday in Australia, Fiji, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea. I guess they think that spring is a good time to celebrate the holiday.
For years I have observed that church attendance goes up slightly on Mother’s Day and goes down slightly on Father’s Day. My theory is that when families ask mother what she would like to do on Mother’s Day, she says, “Lets all go to church.” When they ask Father what he’d like to do on his day, he says, “Let’s go fishing!” In reality, the difference is subtle and the difference in attendance probably has to do with other factors such as vacations, work schedules and other factors.
At any rate, tomorrow is Father’s Day and it is a good thing to think of the role that all of our parents and grandparents have played in our lives. There are so many things of deep meaning in this life that are bigger than the span of a single generation. Lessons we learn from parents often have roots in discoveries that took generations to be revealed.
It is also interesting to me to reflect not only on the traits and life skills that we inherit from our Fathers, but also to think of the things that don’t seem to have been passed on in the same sense. My father taught me many important things and I am like him in many ways. I am very grateful for his generosity of spirit and his special attention to me as I was groing up. I feel very close to him even though he died more than three decades ago. I see his influence in many of my interests and decisions.
Still, I am not him. He was a very good businessman and an entrepreneur. He could estimate costs and benefits in his head and was very good at business decisions. He managed his financial resources well and was able to accumulate significant wealth in his short lifetime. Our mother was supported for her 30 years of widowhood by the earnings of his career. His plans worked out.
I, on the other hand, have not been the best of financial managers. I think I’m probably much better off working for a salary than I would be as an independent businessman. I am less focused on profit and haven’t felt a need to make accumulation of assets a priority in my life. I suspect that I would not be as happy as an independent businessman as he was.
On the other hand, it is possible that my natural tendencies to spend without much thought to the future would be even more exaggerated wee it not for his influence.
What makes a father, however, isn’t business skill, or physical appearance, or personality traits. What makes a father is dedication to one’s children - the absolute investment in their future. And when it comes to that side of being a father the most precious commodity is time and attention. It isn’t just spending time with your children, but making sure that the time you invest is meaningful. Being fully present in the moments you have can make all the difference in the world.
My father taught me to fly an airplane. Many of my fondest memories of time spent with my father involve flying. He was fully attentive to the task of flying and he loved it so much that it made him and excellent natural teacher. When he was with me and I was flying he paid attention to me and to every detail of the new skills I was acquiring. His love of flying came through his every instruction and he was always encouraging and supportive, never critical or angry.
I don’t fly airplanes these days. My budget and the cost of flying don’t match up very well. However, I do feel very close to my father and am grateful for the time we had. And sometimes, when I am paying attention, I can see some of his traits in our son when he is teaching his children. It is a legacy worth celebrating.
Tomorrow is Father’s Day. That is the official spelling in the United States. You’ll see it on cards and in the official legislation establishing the holiday. I have no idea why we don’t spell it “Fathers’ Day.” After all there are many fathers whose lives are worth celebrating. When I think of Father’s Day, I think about my father, but also about my father-in-law. These days one of the thoughts that comes frequently to my mind is of my son, who has become a terrific father. I think that there is a legacy of good fathering that runs in my family.
Perhaps we want to celebrate our fathers one at a time instead of celebrating them because they belong to a group or class. If you stop to consider the number of fathers in the world, it is a pretty big group.
I don’t know the history of the holiday, but it is my understanding that Mother’s Day was established first and Father’s Day followed a few years later. It became a popular holiday across the US in the early years of the 20th Century and was established prior to World War I.
June is the most popular month for Father’s Day celebrations around the world. The third Sunday of June seems to be the most common date, with celebrations here in the US, in China, throughout the Caribbean and in many South American and African countries. A few countries, including Spain and Italy celebrate Father’s Day on March 19, the traditional feast day for Joseph, the father (or perhaps stepfather) of Jesus.
I thought it was fun in 2006, when we visited Australia, to note that south of the equator there are a few countries that celebrate the day in September. The first Sunday of September is the day of the holiday in Australia, Fiji, New Zealand and Papua New Guinea. I guess they think that spring is a good time to celebrate the holiday.
For years I have observed that church attendance goes up slightly on Mother’s Day and goes down slightly on Father’s Day. My theory is that when families ask mother what she would like to do on Mother’s Day, she says, “Lets all go to church.” When they ask Father what he’d like to do on his day, he says, “Let’s go fishing!” In reality, the difference is subtle and the difference in attendance probably has to do with other factors such as vacations, work schedules and other factors.
At any rate, tomorrow is Father’s Day and it is a good thing to think of the role that all of our parents and grandparents have played in our lives. There are so many things of deep meaning in this life that are bigger than the span of a single generation. Lessons we learn from parents often have roots in discoveries that took generations to be revealed.
It is also interesting to me to reflect not only on the traits and life skills that we inherit from our Fathers, but also to think of the things that don’t seem to have been passed on in the same sense. My father taught me many important things and I am like him in many ways. I am very grateful for his generosity of spirit and his special attention to me as I was groing up. I feel very close to him even though he died more than three decades ago. I see his influence in many of my interests and decisions.
Still, I am not him. He was a very good businessman and an entrepreneur. He could estimate costs and benefits in his head and was very good at business decisions. He managed his financial resources well and was able to accumulate significant wealth in his short lifetime. Our mother was supported for her 30 years of widowhood by the earnings of his career. His plans worked out.
I, on the other hand, have not been the best of financial managers. I think I’m probably much better off working for a salary than I would be as an independent businessman. I am less focused on profit and haven’t felt a need to make accumulation of assets a priority in my life. I suspect that I would not be as happy as an independent businessman as he was.
On the other hand, it is possible that my natural tendencies to spend without much thought to the future would be even more exaggerated wee it not for his influence.
What makes a father, however, isn’t business skill, or physical appearance, or personality traits. What makes a father is dedication to one’s children - the absolute investment in their future. And when it comes to that side of being a father the most precious commodity is time and attention. It isn’t just spending time with your children, but making sure that the time you invest is meaningful. Being fully present in the moments you have can make all the difference in the world.
My father taught me to fly an airplane. Many of my fondest memories of time spent with my father involve flying. He was fully attentive to the task of flying and he loved it so much that it made him and excellent natural teacher. When he was with me and I was flying he paid attention to me and to every detail of the new skills I was acquiring. His love of flying came through his every instruction and he was always encouraging and supportive, never critical or angry.
I don’t fly airplanes these days. My budget and the cost of flying don’t match up very well. However, I do feel very close to my father and am grateful for the time we had. And sometimes, when I am paying attention, I can see some of his traits in our son when he is teaching his children. It is a legacy worth celebrating.