We were married on a Friday evening. We were college students and didn’t have a big budget for a honeymoon. Susan’s parents had a small cabin in Red Lodge, about 60 miles away and we drove up there the morning after the wedding. We had a couple of days to explore the area, including a picnic alongside an alpine lake near the top of the Beartooth Pass. The bakery where I was working didn’t bake on Tuesdays and I had Monday off, so we had a long weekend to celebrate our marriage before returning to our small apartment and the daily routine of work. It seemed very natural to us. We didn’t need a fancy trip to a resort or a huge destination vacation. Time with each other and time outdoors to explore the beauty of the natural world was just what we wanted and needed.

Yesterday we celebrated our 42nd Anniversary by spending the day in the hills, rowing on a small reservoir, hiking, photographing and talking. Our celebration didn’t involve a big trip or elaborate plans, though we are staying at a campground that accepts reservations, so we knew we’d have a nice spot to camp. It is quiet and the campground isn’t full during the mid week. We arrived Sunday afternoon and we need to head back home this morning to be ready for a meeting this evening. But we had a glorious day with no appointments, no need to go anywhere, no schedule and time to talk.

The 42nd Anniversary isn’t one with a special gift, or place on the charts. I think that most lists of anniversaries just go by decades after 40, noting the 50th, 60th, 70th and 75th as the big celebration events. But we’ve never been ones for the big parties and celebrations in the first place. We have enjoyed making our anniversaries about our relationship and not so much about gathering others. I guess we’re not too big on parties and events anyway.

I don’t think we could be more happy. We don’t need destination vacations. We aren’t much for resorts and hotels with lots of amenities. We like our camper and its cozy feel. We have a comfortable and secure place to sleep where we don’t have to worry if it rains in the night. We have a place to prepare the kind of food that we like to eat and we don’t have to try to figure out who and how much to tip. Both of us are entertained by the eagle who flew above our heads and the red winged blackbirds along the shore and the antics of the rabbits, squirrels and chipmunks that run across the campground. It seems luxurious to us to sit in a folding chair and read a book in the shade on a summer afternoon with no cell phones, no need to check our watches and no deadlines to meet.

One of the things we’ve learned in the span of our marriage is to be comfortable with each other. Of course we love the opportunities we have to be with our children and grandchildren and we feel lucky to live in a time when the Internet is available so that we can video chat with them every week and check in on their lives. We miss them when we are apart and invest a fair amount of time and financial resources in getting together with them. When people ask us about our vacation plans, the answer almost always involves getting together with our family.

When we get together with them our activities usually involve walking or paddling or rowing or some other outdoor adventures. So far we haven’t felt the urge to book rooms at resorts or be entertained by the big acts.

After a delicious day like yesterday it is easy to feel gratitude. Indeed we are among the most fortunate of people. We have been granted 42 years without major illness or life-threatening accidents. Our children grew into their adulthoods and found mates and married without some of the problems and tragedies that have been met by other young adults. Our grandchildren are healthy and fascinating and our children are generous with their time so we get to be with them on a regular basis.

Both Susan and my parents had vacation cabins when we were teens. They were small get-aways that didn’t have all of the work associated with a big house with all of the amenities. They served as places to go when there was time off from work for relaxation and renewal. We’ve chosen instead to have a camper. Our vacation home has wheels and we take it to various places. It is a significant upgrade from the tent that we used when our children were little, but it represents a small enough investment that we don’t feel obligated to it. We use it when we want and store it when we have other things to do. Unlike a cabin, it takes about a half hour to winterize the camper and prepare it for freezing weather. In the spring turning on the water and getting ready for the next adventure takes even less time. Check the air in the tires and go.

I have no particular wisdom about having been married for 42 years. It is by the grace of God that we have been able to have such a good life together. My observation is that it seems to have passed quickly. I have such clear memories of many of the steps along the way, yet I am a bit surprised to have been married more than twice as long as I was single before we married. And I know that the odds are against us being granted another 42 years, though that would be nice, I’m sure.

It is important to treasure the time we have. It is indeed precious, and we know that this life we have will be ours only for a little while. Time passes. Things change. The day will come when I won’t be able to lift a row boat to the rack on the top of the pickup. Our adventures will have to be modified as we age.

Still, this time is sweet and we are indeed blessed to have it together.

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