Trying to learn from tragedy
08/04/15 04:51
I know from personal experience that making judgments from the midst of grief can lead to some poor choices. Of course there are certain decisions that simply need to be made when one is grieving. Funeral plans have to be made. Financial arrangements need to be managed. Choices about the distribution of personal property have to be made in accord with a will and dealt with in a timely manner as specified by the courts. One cannot avoid making decisions when one is grieving. Still, I know that I wasn’t doing my best thinking as we journeyed through the grief of the death of family members. It took me a long time to gain enough perspective to be proactive instead of reactive in my decision making.
So today isn’t the best day for those of us in Western South Dakota to make a complete assessment of our state’s attitudes and policies about children and youth. Because we are immersed in a season of grief. We’ve lost four teenagers in automobile accidents in the past two weeks.
Jeremiah Helton of Belle Fourche died in a rollover accident on March 25 near Belle Fourche. Another teen was injured in that accident. Jeremiah was 14.
Nehemiah Larimer died March 30 after being struck by a car while riding a scooter. The driver of the car was 15 years old. Nehemiah was 18.
Robert DuBray, Jr. died after being ejected from an SUV in a rollover accident early on April 5. At least five other teens were injured in that accident. Robert was 15.
McKenzie Stilwell of Kadoka was killed April 6 when he rolled a pickup truck in Mellette County. Two other teens were injured in that accident. McKenzie was 16.
It is enough to make us question the driving age in South Dakota, or wonder about the lack of drivers education in our schools, or wonder what could be done to reduce the accidents. Since three of the four accidents involved youth who weren’t wearing seatbelts, we wonder if there is a way to get more youth to wear seatbelts.
Meanwhile, in a story that seems to some to be unrelated, citizens of our city are gathering votes on petitions to bring to a public vote a proposal by the school board to “opt out” of the state funding formula, a move that would make more funds available for the school district by raising property taxes. There are plenty of people who don’t want to see tax increases and the opt out is almost certainly headed for a vote. The schools are very dependent upon property taxes in our state, where teachers receive the lowest salaries in the nation and school districts struggle to hire and retain teachers. The lack of driver’s education in our schools is directly related to the lack of money to pay for such programs.
Our state has a teen suicide rate that runs about 2 1/2 times the national average. Suicide is a topic too big for today’s blog, but we know from research that teen suicides have a relationship to a lack of impulse control. A teen suicide delayed is most often a teen suicide prevented. Our prevention training people are overwhelmed. There is insufficient funding to respond to the calls for more training.
It is very hard to get accurate statistics about the so-called brain drain when it comes to graduates of South Dakota Universities. Because many high school graduates leave the state to pursue their academic careers and because universities attract students from other states, it is a bit difficult to know how many of our youth grow up in the state and then spend their active earning years in other states. Universities also only keep records on the first job after graduation which makes it nearly impossible to get accurate numbers. What I can say after 20 years of working with youth in our church is that we are definitely in the missionary business, sending the youth who grow up in our church to distant locations to pursue their careers. Of course a few remain in our city and are excellent contributors to our economy, but they are the minority when it comes to our church.
I have had too many conversations with young adults from our church who say something like, “I don’t wan’t to raise my kids in South Dakota,” or “South Dakota isn’t a good place for children.”
In the midst of this conversation the recent action of the South Dakota legislature and governor to decrease the minimum wage for youth, amending a minimum wage law enacted by public referendum, is more symbolic than substantive. Its symbolic message is clear. The legislature and governor with the support of the chambers of commerce in many of our cities and towns, believe that youth are less valuable than adults and that their pay should reflect that.
It’s hard not to believe that they meant to send that message.
Image can be everything.
While western South Dakota is home to Mount Rushmore, the Mammoth Site, Custer State Park and a host of other family-friendly places, what we are known for is the world’s largest motorcycle rally. We expect to host a million guests this year for that event. And I know from conversations with law enforcement officers that the activities and events of the rally are strictly adult. If the rally were a movie, the rating of events would probably range from R to XXX. I want our guests to feel welcome. But I also want our guests to include children and youth.
The loss of vibrant, young teens is a blow to any community. The tragedies that have occurred in our neighborhood in recent weeks are overwhelming. It probably makes sense for us to sit with our grief for a while and avoid too many major decisions.
But from every tragedy there are lessons to be learned. Grief, like other forms of pain, can be an effective teacher.
I pray that we might be able to learn our lessons and become a state that embraces, treasures and honors our children and youth.
So today isn’t the best day for those of us in Western South Dakota to make a complete assessment of our state’s attitudes and policies about children and youth. Because we are immersed in a season of grief. We’ve lost four teenagers in automobile accidents in the past two weeks.
Jeremiah Helton of Belle Fourche died in a rollover accident on March 25 near Belle Fourche. Another teen was injured in that accident. Jeremiah was 14.
Nehemiah Larimer died March 30 after being struck by a car while riding a scooter. The driver of the car was 15 years old. Nehemiah was 18.
Robert DuBray, Jr. died after being ejected from an SUV in a rollover accident early on April 5. At least five other teens were injured in that accident. Robert was 15.
McKenzie Stilwell of Kadoka was killed April 6 when he rolled a pickup truck in Mellette County. Two other teens were injured in that accident. McKenzie was 16.
It is enough to make us question the driving age in South Dakota, or wonder about the lack of drivers education in our schools, or wonder what could be done to reduce the accidents. Since three of the four accidents involved youth who weren’t wearing seatbelts, we wonder if there is a way to get more youth to wear seatbelts.
Meanwhile, in a story that seems to some to be unrelated, citizens of our city are gathering votes on petitions to bring to a public vote a proposal by the school board to “opt out” of the state funding formula, a move that would make more funds available for the school district by raising property taxes. There are plenty of people who don’t want to see tax increases and the opt out is almost certainly headed for a vote. The schools are very dependent upon property taxes in our state, where teachers receive the lowest salaries in the nation and school districts struggle to hire and retain teachers. The lack of driver’s education in our schools is directly related to the lack of money to pay for such programs.
Our state has a teen suicide rate that runs about 2 1/2 times the national average. Suicide is a topic too big for today’s blog, but we know from research that teen suicides have a relationship to a lack of impulse control. A teen suicide delayed is most often a teen suicide prevented. Our prevention training people are overwhelmed. There is insufficient funding to respond to the calls for more training.
It is very hard to get accurate statistics about the so-called brain drain when it comes to graduates of South Dakota Universities. Because many high school graduates leave the state to pursue their academic careers and because universities attract students from other states, it is a bit difficult to know how many of our youth grow up in the state and then spend their active earning years in other states. Universities also only keep records on the first job after graduation which makes it nearly impossible to get accurate numbers. What I can say after 20 years of working with youth in our church is that we are definitely in the missionary business, sending the youth who grow up in our church to distant locations to pursue their careers. Of course a few remain in our city and are excellent contributors to our economy, but they are the minority when it comes to our church.
I have had too many conversations with young adults from our church who say something like, “I don’t wan’t to raise my kids in South Dakota,” or “South Dakota isn’t a good place for children.”
In the midst of this conversation the recent action of the South Dakota legislature and governor to decrease the minimum wage for youth, amending a minimum wage law enacted by public referendum, is more symbolic than substantive. Its symbolic message is clear. The legislature and governor with the support of the chambers of commerce in many of our cities and towns, believe that youth are less valuable than adults and that their pay should reflect that.
It’s hard not to believe that they meant to send that message.
Image can be everything.
While western South Dakota is home to Mount Rushmore, the Mammoth Site, Custer State Park and a host of other family-friendly places, what we are known for is the world’s largest motorcycle rally. We expect to host a million guests this year for that event. And I know from conversations with law enforcement officers that the activities and events of the rally are strictly adult. If the rally were a movie, the rating of events would probably range from R to XXX. I want our guests to feel welcome. But I also want our guests to include children and youth.
The loss of vibrant, young teens is a blow to any community. The tragedies that have occurred in our neighborhood in recent weeks are overwhelming. It probably makes sense for us to sit with our grief for a while and avoid too many major decisions.
But from every tragedy there are lessons to be learned. Grief, like other forms of pain, can be an effective teacher.
I pray that we might be able to learn our lessons and become a state that embraces, treasures and honors our children and youth.