Living with difference
23/04/15 05:17
Some days I think that I understand other people very well. Then something happens that reminds me that there is still mystery and surprise even in the people I know best. It is one of the joys of this world that is also a bit of a challenge. Mostly difference is a joy. I have little interest in sameness all of the time. That doesn’t mean that similarities are undesirable. I think that part of the attraction that Susan and I feel comes from our similarities. We have similar interests, similar commitments and similar passions. We like similar music and enjoy similar activities. In the early days of our relationship, I reveled in having found someone who could understand me and whom I could understand. After more than four decades of marriage I am also aware of differences. And I have found those differences to be the source of great meaning and joy. At my side is an integrity who can be encountered, not a clone. She can challenge my thinking and encourage me to change when change is necessary. She can give me a fresh perspective when my vision is narrow. She expands my world with new ideas and fresh creativity.
It is similar with the congregation that I serve. We share a common commitment to our faith. We share a common commitment to serving others in the name of Jesus Christ. But one of the treasures of this congregation is the wide diversity of the people. We have people whose politics might be labeled as tea party and others whose voting is significantly left of center. We have people whose theology is fundamentalist and those whose theology is nearly Unitarian. On Easter the room had many Christians with a handful of Hindus and Buddhists and during Holy Week one of the participants in our services is a Unitarian who prefers our style of worship to her congregations when it comes to Holy Week. This rich tapestry is constantly changing and always interesting and exciting. I often say that we are not bound together by our sameness. We gather not to agree with one another, but rather to worship God. I like it that way.
Even after 20 years as pastor, I can be surprised by the congregation. I’ve been scratching my head trying to understand some of the conversations I have had this week. The conversations have to do with part of a capital funds drive that we are preparing for a congregational vote in just over a week. The drive contains much-needed major building improvements and repairs that are clear to understand. Along the way, the people defining the projects took a look at the capital funds drive of our Camp and decided that those needs were also worthy of our support. The proposal was to give a portion of the proceeds from our drive to the camp fund drive. As we discussed that proposal, some have expressed opposition to giving a percentage off of the top. I have been trying to listen very carefully to understand their thinking.
At first I thought that the opposition was the result of not understanding the camp capital funds campaign. People often confuse operating budgets with capital needs and it takes careful education to enable them to see the distinction between long-term investments and day to day operations. The camp, like our church, has both operational needs and capital needs. I thought that the concerns could be addressed with more information. Indeed the answers to some of the questions about the camp drive have been helpful, but they don’t fully address the concern of those who have been raising their voices in meetings.
Then I thought that they were expressing fear that there wouldn’t be enough money for all of the projects - that if we were to give part of the funds to the camp, there might not be enough for the things we need to accomplish at our church. I can hear that fear and understand it, but I can’t share it. Our people are so generous and our church has been provided for so abundantly that it seems nearly impossible to think God would fail to provide what we need. I have a fear about our campaign, but it is very different. My fear is that we are being too selfish. What if God does not intend for us to worship in air conditioned comfort when some of our neighbors don’t have enough food to eat? What if focusing on the things we want for our building distracts us from the feeding program in our sister church? I can come up with all kinds of fears. I can understand fear. But I also know that Jesus continues to invite us to lay aside our anxious feelings and trust that God will provide. “Consider the lilies of the field,” he challenges us.
One person said that it seemed like offering a percentage was putting the needs of the camp ahead of the needs of the congregation. That is correct. The way the proposal was originally made, the camp gets a percentage of every donation. The more we raise, the more the camp gets. And we cannot accomplish the first item on our list without giving money to the camp projects. I tried to answer this concern by saying that what was proposed is exactly what we propose to our members - that we give out of our substance, not out of our surplus. In our family we make giving the first thing we do out of our paycheck, not wait until we’ve made the other purchases we want and then give out of what is left over. I believe that the church ought to demonstrate the same generosity we expect of our members. If we give only after our wants are satisfied, why shouldn’t our members do the same? I don’t think my argument was convincing.
We have a deadline that is looming. We go to the congregation in just a few days. We need to have a proposal that is meaningful for the members when they vote. It must be easy to understand and clear in its purposes. As I have said many times, whenever we raise money we need to be completely honest about where that money will go. Despite the deadline, however, I know it is time to think and pray and listen. It is not time to rush to counter proposals or to be defensive about the path that led us to this point. I don’t know what proposal will emerge at this point, but I trust that one will come that is right for our congregation.
Still, it is a worry. And I still struggle to turn my worries over to God.
It is similar with the congregation that I serve. We share a common commitment to our faith. We share a common commitment to serving others in the name of Jesus Christ. But one of the treasures of this congregation is the wide diversity of the people. We have people whose politics might be labeled as tea party and others whose voting is significantly left of center. We have people whose theology is fundamentalist and those whose theology is nearly Unitarian. On Easter the room had many Christians with a handful of Hindus and Buddhists and during Holy Week one of the participants in our services is a Unitarian who prefers our style of worship to her congregations when it comes to Holy Week. This rich tapestry is constantly changing and always interesting and exciting. I often say that we are not bound together by our sameness. We gather not to agree with one another, but rather to worship God. I like it that way.
Even after 20 years as pastor, I can be surprised by the congregation. I’ve been scratching my head trying to understand some of the conversations I have had this week. The conversations have to do with part of a capital funds drive that we are preparing for a congregational vote in just over a week. The drive contains much-needed major building improvements and repairs that are clear to understand. Along the way, the people defining the projects took a look at the capital funds drive of our Camp and decided that those needs were also worthy of our support. The proposal was to give a portion of the proceeds from our drive to the camp fund drive. As we discussed that proposal, some have expressed opposition to giving a percentage off of the top. I have been trying to listen very carefully to understand their thinking.
At first I thought that the opposition was the result of not understanding the camp capital funds campaign. People often confuse operating budgets with capital needs and it takes careful education to enable them to see the distinction between long-term investments and day to day operations. The camp, like our church, has both operational needs and capital needs. I thought that the concerns could be addressed with more information. Indeed the answers to some of the questions about the camp drive have been helpful, but they don’t fully address the concern of those who have been raising their voices in meetings.
Then I thought that they were expressing fear that there wouldn’t be enough money for all of the projects - that if we were to give part of the funds to the camp, there might not be enough for the things we need to accomplish at our church. I can hear that fear and understand it, but I can’t share it. Our people are so generous and our church has been provided for so abundantly that it seems nearly impossible to think God would fail to provide what we need. I have a fear about our campaign, but it is very different. My fear is that we are being too selfish. What if God does not intend for us to worship in air conditioned comfort when some of our neighbors don’t have enough food to eat? What if focusing on the things we want for our building distracts us from the feeding program in our sister church? I can come up with all kinds of fears. I can understand fear. But I also know that Jesus continues to invite us to lay aside our anxious feelings and trust that God will provide. “Consider the lilies of the field,” he challenges us.
One person said that it seemed like offering a percentage was putting the needs of the camp ahead of the needs of the congregation. That is correct. The way the proposal was originally made, the camp gets a percentage of every donation. The more we raise, the more the camp gets. And we cannot accomplish the first item on our list without giving money to the camp projects. I tried to answer this concern by saying that what was proposed is exactly what we propose to our members - that we give out of our substance, not out of our surplus. In our family we make giving the first thing we do out of our paycheck, not wait until we’ve made the other purchases we want and then give out of what is left over. I believe that the church ought to demonstrate the same generosity we expect of our members. If we give only after our wants are satisfied, why shouldn’t our members do the same? I don’t think my argument was convincing.
We have a deadline that is looming. We go to the congregation in just a few days. We need to have a proposal that is meaningful for the members when they vote. It must be easy to understand and clear in its purposes. As I have said many times, whenever we raise money we need to be completely honest about where that money will go. Despite the deadline, however, I know it is time to think and pray and listen. It is not time to rush to counter proposals or to be defensive about the path that led us to this point. I don’t know what proposal will emerge at this point, but I trust that one will come that is right for our congregation.
Still, it is a worry. And I still struggle to turn my worries over to God.