Relationships have many different expressions, moods and modes. Susan and I love to talk with each other. We talk about big, important things such as our faith, our children and grandchildren, plans for the future and the like. And we talk about little things like the weather, the color of an object, and trivia from the news. But talking is just one part of our relationship. There are times when just being together and sharing silence provides a deep and meaningful sense of connection.

In a similar manner, a relationship with God can take on many different forms. I am convinced that there is no single “right” way to pray. Prayer, instead, can take on many different forms. I am inspired by the eloquent prayers of Walter Brueggemann. The teacher and biblical scholar is widely known for his many books on Old Testament topics. Throughout his career he had the simple practice of beginning class with a prayer. Many of those prayers were written out in preparation for his day. The collections of his prayers are poetic, clear and very touching. I have found them to be just the right prayers for beginning meetings, bible studies and other gatherings. I also enjoy reading from his collections of prayers during my times of personal devotion.

When asked to pray in public, I think I am often quite a bit less eloquent than Brueggemann. Early in my time as a minister, I recognized that it was popular among some of my colleagues to complain about being asked to pray in public. “Everyone should be able to pray,” they would say. “You shouldn’t always ask the minister to pray for you.” While I agree that everyone should be able to pray, I am uncomfortable with the awkwardness of a minister declining the invitation to pray. I decided that I would never refuse when asked to pray. The words for some prayers are simple. I do table graces all of the time. When attending the death of a person in hospice or at the hospital, I’ve had a little time to think about the moment and compose the words of the prayer in my mind. Prayers for opening meetings sometimes become routine and, I suspect, repetitive. But there are times when I am asked to pray that I have to pause for a moment to collect my thoughts before speaking. Sometimes, when counseling with a church member with serious problems or having listened to someone caught up in one of life’s tragedies, I find myself struggling with the right words for the moment.

In those moments I need to remind myself that I do not need to clutter every moment with words. Sometimes silence is an appropriate form of prayer. Sometimes tears can say more than words.

I begin with the basic assumption that everything is a product of God’s creativity. There is, in my opinion, no distinction between the sacred and the profane. God created and is present in all of the universe. There is nowhere that we can go that is beyond the reach of God. So it is very likely that we can find God by simply living our lives. There is deep meaning in ritual and tradition and sacrament. And these are good ways to develop a relationship with God. I believe that public worship is important and I invest a lot of energy in preparing and conducting worship. But I think that God is also present in the desires and passions of everyday people. When someone says to me, “I hate this job! I wish I could . . .” I think that perhaps God is calling that person to something new. Vocation isn’t reserved to jobs in the church. There are people who are called to practice medicine or teach. There are people who are called to engage in business or provide services. I believe that God is present in the innermost desires and hopes of people. And God’s approach to people is love. When we discover what we truly love, we draw closer to God.

Jesus’ disciples asked him to teach them how to pray. In Luke’s Gospel, they ask Jesus to teach them to pray, “as John taught his disciples.” Jesus gave them a simple prayer, one that many of us use every day. We often call it “The Lord’s Prayer,” or “the prayer of Jesus.” Many of us learned that prayer as children and find it very familiar and comforting. I’ve prayed it with people who were gravely ill, nearing unconsciousness and watched their lips move as they soundlessly prayed with me. I’ve prayed it with people suffering from dementia who haven’t said a thing I can understand for a whole visit, but who will join in with the prayer. It is a powerful set of words.

But if you look at the text, Jesus, after giving his disciples the words to the prayer goes on to tell a story of asking a friend to share some bread. In the story the one asking for the bread has to ask multiple times. Sometimes it takes perseverance.

It is not at all uncommon for people to report to me that they have prayed, but have not received an answer. Jesus’ instructions to his disciples teach us that when this happens we ought to pray some more. And we don’t need fancy words for our prayers. Simply asking for the things we need, like food and forgiveness, and protection, is enough.

Sometimes silence is enough.

The human imagination is a wonderful tool for pursuing our relationship with God. There are times when I imagine myself to be a participant when I am praying scriptures. I wonder where I might fit into a particular biblical story. That can be a powerful mode of prayer. But it isn’t the only way to pray. In my life, I seem to need many different ways to pray. I pray about the big things and the little things.

After all, it is about pursuing a relationship with God who is actively seeking to be in relationship with me. I don’t need to make things happen. More often, I need to allow them to happen and pay enough attention to recognize what is happening right before me.

I’m still learning how to pray.

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