Part of the power of scripture is that you learn new things each time you read it. Our people have, over the course of centuries, discovered that there are a few great stories about our journey with God that bear telling over and over again. These deep and meaningful stories provide a way for us to remain connected with God. And they are stories that bring fresh insight in every generation - fresh meaning each time they are encountered.

So it is with the stories of Holy Week. I have read them over and over and over again. I have preached sermons on practically every nuance of the Gospels, and yet there are parts of the stories that come to me in fresh ways each time that I encounter them.

I’ve been mulling the role of the disciples in the the Garden of Gethsemane recently. It is the prayer that we have assigned to Thursday evening, though it could well have been Tuesday. There were two groups of Jews in Jerusalem in Jesus time, with two different schedules of observation of the Passover. One group began the passover on Thursday, the day before the traditional Jewish Sabbath. Another group, the Essenes arose around the time of the building of the Second Temple and flourished in the time of Jesus. The Essenes observed the Passover meal on Tuesday. It has been traditional for the church to imagine the events of the last week of Jesus’ life according to the older, traditional calendar, with the supper and the arrest on Thursday, the trial and crucifixion on Friday, the Sabbath on Saturday and the resurrection on Sunday. If, however, Jesus had observed the Passover meal with the Essenes, prayed in the garden and been arrested on Tuesday, with the trial on Wednesday, it would allow for the mandatory one-day waiting period before an execution required by Roman law. Thursday would have been that day of waiting with the crucifixion on Friday.

Perhaps it is a detail that is not important. But for those of us who try to faithfully recall the events each year details are of some importance.

However recalled, the prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, just before the arrest, is an event that sticks in my mind. Usually when I meditate on that story, my mind drifts to Jesus, to his nearly-suicidal agony: “My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death.” It is a detail reported only by Mark’s gospel. Jesus’ prayer that the cup might pass from him that ends with “yet not what I will, but what You will” is a powerful prayer for each of us to remember for the points of our own agony.

But last night, I couldn’t get Peter and James and John out of my mind. Their role in the prayer isn’t mentioned by John, and barely by Luke, But Matthew and Mark report the three close disciples who couldn’t keep awake.

I think I understand.

Holy Week is a time of long days and short nights for me. There was a time in my life, when I would go full steam ahead and then collapse in exhaustion for a few hours and get up and go again. As I have aged, however, I find that I don’t sleep as well as once was the case. I rise in the night with aches and pains that I don’t remember having when I was younger. I lie awake, mulling the undone tasks on my “to do” list, sorting the “essential” tasks from those that can be delayed. The intense focus on worship sometimes means that I am less attentive to my pastoral duties than ought to be the case. It isn’t at all uncommon to find myself immersed in some of my best work as a worship leader while feeling like I am neglecting my duties as a pastor and counselor of my people. So I don’t sleep as well as I should.

And I find myself overcome with tiredness at inappropriate moments. I haven’t ever fallen asleep when leading public prayer, but I have dozed off during my private devotions.

I’m fearful that if I were to go to the sanctuary to pray in quietness early this morning - trying to connect with Jesus’ experience in the Garden of Gethsemane - I might nod off.

I think I understand Peter and James and John very well.

And the other disciples - of whom Mark reports “And they all left Him and fled” - I understand them too.

I’d like to say that I would not abandon Jesus, but the truth is that I do not know. What I do know is that the churches that boast the biggest Easter attendance don’t put much emphasis on Holy Week. One of the congregations that has a large “stadium” event for Easter Sunday, is described by one of its pastors this way: “We don’t do Lent. We’re not into all of that guilt business.” There are more than a few people whose faith is expressed in loud praise, high celebration, and a bit short on resources for deep pain, grief and loss. I sometimes feel abandoned when attendance is light for Holy Week services.

Sometimes I forget that we don’t worship for an audience. We worship for God. Like Jesus in the garden - praying is deeply meaningful even if you have been abandoned by some and the others can’t keep their eyes open.

Then again, every once in a while a community cannot escape the pain. As we gathered for our worship last night, there was a large gathering at a local high school for the funeral of an 18 year old who was killed in a tragic accident. For those people it was impossible to escape grief. Surely they were forced to sit with Jesus in the Garden, whether or not they would normally have chosen such a prayer. Life does that to us - often.

Wearily we face Good Friday.

I think we are supposed to be weary.

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