Survivors
13/03/15 05:24
There are people in every community, of every economic status, of every racial and ethnic group and of every age who have gone through a life-changing experience. Each person’s experience was unique, and yet there are enough similarities for them to understand that they belong to a common group.
I will not go into the deepest details of their stories, for their stories are not mine to tell. And there are parts of those stories that involve so much pain and, yes, ugliness, that it is not appropriate to tell them. Some things are best left unsaid in the public arena.
For each of these individuals there is a specific moment that they will never forget. It might have come in the form of a phone call from a family member or friend. It might have come in the form of a visit from a law enforcement officer. It might have come in the form of opening a door and entering a once-familiar room. Each received the message in her or his own way, but it is an event that is seared into memory forever.
For some there was intense drama and trauma at the event. They walked up their own driveway dazed in a blaze of flashing lights and the presence of more law enforcement vehicles than they could ever remember seeing at the same place before. Or perhaps the sound of a gunshot followed by a deafening silence is etched forever in their memory. For some there was the panic of trying to cut a rope or belt while simultaneously trying to dial 9-1-1 on a phone. For others there was a calm acceptance of the obvious before any response.
In some cases there had been many warning signs. For some there had been threats and even attempts. For others their moment crept up with no sense that it was on its way.
May carry visual memories that are beyond the capacity of words to describe. They have seen more than they ever would have wanted to see and once a thing has been seen, it cannot be unseen.
On average, in the United States, this group gains new members every 12.8 minutes.
I am referring to suicide. After cancer and heart disease, suicide accounts for more years of life lost than any other cause of death. Suicide takes more lives than war, murder, and natural disasters combined. Suicide is more prevalent among active duty military than death to accidents and combat duty.
And this is the season. For reasons that are not fully understood, suicide rates tend to be highest in the spring months, peaking in April.
Although we know that not every suicide can be prevented, we know that death by suicide is not inevitable. 90% of those who attempt suicide and survive go on to live full and meaningful lives and do not die bu suicide.
And before I move away from the statistics there are more grim realities. Suicide is especially devastating when the victim is a young person. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10 - 24 and the third leading cause of death for youth aged 12 - 18 and for college students. More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza and chronic lung disease COMBINED. We are talking about 5,400 attempts by youth in grades 7 - 12 every day in our country. 5,400 families thrown into turmoil.
We live in one of the nine US states with a suicide rate in excess of 18 per 100,000 people. That is nearly double the overall national rate. South Dakota is the eastern most of the extreme suicide rate states, with higher rates than our neighbors North Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa and Nebraska. The states with the highest rates, Alaska, Montana, Utah, Wyoming and New Mexico all lie to our west. States with similar rates, Idaho, Nevada, and Colorado all lie to our west. It is a rough life out in the wild west.
One more thing: those who die by suicide are more likely to be male than female. The suicide rate among men is about 4 times higher than among women.
But statistics tell only part of the story.
Every suicide produces a huge number of victims. Those who have lost a family member or close friend to suicide are more likely themselves to die by suicide. It is a simple reality. Once you have suicide in your mind, you can’t get it out. Those who ask, “Why?” and “How?” gain information that cannot be erased from memory. Think about the topic long enough and try to figure it out and you will have more than enough information.
For 20 years now, our congregation has been the meeting place of a regular suicide support group for our community. It may be among the most important things that we do. Suicide survivors come with stories that must be told and yet are very painful to tell. The last thing they need is to have to start over again and again. An atmosphere of trust and support is essential for feelings that have been suppressed to come out. Despite the prevalence of suicide in our community, there is still a social stigma that makes it a very difficult topic for survivors to broach.
I have decided that it is a topic about which I will not be silent. I may sound like a broken record to my friends, but I have vowed to do what I am able to overcome the social stigma and bring the conversations about suicide out into the light of public awareness. I have been active in SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education), AFSP (American Society for Suicide Prevention) and our local Front Porch Coalition. I serve on our county’s LOSS (Local Outreach to Survivors of Suicide) team and there isn’t a week that goes by without some of my time invested in outreach and prevention.
So my question for you is simple: “Are you OK?” If not, give me a call, but don’t let me be the only one who knows. Reach out. Help is available. Remember this number 1-800-273-8255 (273-TALK). Memorize this number. Give it to your friends. It is a lifeline.
I will not go into the deepest details of their stories, for their stories are not mine to tell. And there are parts of those stories that involve so much pain and, yes, ugliness, that it is not appropriate to tell them. Some things are best left unsaid in the public arena.
For each of these individuals there is a specific moment that they will never forget. It might have come in the form of a phone call from a family member or friend. It might have come in the form of a visit from a law enforcement officer. It might have come in the form of opening a door and entering a once-familiar room. Each received the message in her or his own way, but it is an event that is seared into memory forever.
For some there was intense drama and trauma at the event. They walked up their own driveway dazed in a blaze of flashing lights and the presence of more law enforcement vehicles than they could ever remember seeing at the same place before. Or perhaps the sound of a gunshot followed by a deafening silence is etched forever in their memory. For some there was the panic of trying to cut a rope or belt while simultaneously trying to dial 9-1-1 on a phone. For others there was a calm acceptance of the obvious before any response.
In some cases there had been many warning signs. For some there had been threats and even attempts. For others their moment crept up with no sense that it was on its way.
May carry visual memories that are beyond the capacity of words to describe. They have seen more than they ever would have wanted to see and once a thing has been seen, it cannot be unseen.
On average, in the United States, this group gains new members every 12.8 minutes.
I am referring to suicide. After cancer and heart disease, suicide accounts for more years of life lost than any other cause of death. Suicide takes more lives than war, murder, and natural disasters combined. Suicide is more prevalent among active duty military than death to accidents and combat duty.
And this is the season. For reasons that are not fully understood, suicide rates tend to be highest in the spring months, peaking in April.
Although we know that not every suicide can be prevented, we know that death by suicide is not inevitable. 90% of those who attempt suicide and survive go on to live full and meaningful lives and do not die bu suicide.
And before I move away from the statistics there are more grim realities. Suicide is especially devastating when the victim is a young person. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10 - 24 and the third leading cause of death for youth aged 12 - 18 and for college students. More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza and chronic lung disease COMBINED. We are talking about 5,400 attempts by youth in grades 7 - 12 every day in our country. 5,400 families thrown into turmoil.
We live in one of the nine US states with a suicide rate in excess of 18 per 100,000 people. That is nearly double the overall national rate. South Dakota is the eastern most of the extreme suicide rate states, with higher rates than our neighbors North Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa and Nebraska. The states with the highest rates, Alaska, Montana, Utah, Wyoming and New Mexico all lie to our west. States with similar rates, Idaho, Nevada, and Colorado all lie to our west. It is a rough life out in the wild west.
One more thing: those who die by suicide are more likely to be male than female. The suicide rate among men is about 4 times higher than among women.
But statistics tell only part of the story.
Every suicide produces a huge number of victims. Those who have lost a family member or close friend to suicide are more likely themselves to die by suicide. It is a simple reality. Once you have suicide in your mind, you can’t get it out. Those who ask, “Why?” and “How?” gain information that cannot be erased from memory. Think about the topic long enough and try to figure it out and you will have more than enough information.
For 20 years now, our congregation has been the meeting place of a regular suicide support group for our community. It may be among the most important things that we do. Suicide survivors come with stories that must be told and yet are very painful to tell. The last thing they need is to have to start over again and again. An atmosphere of trust and support is essential for feelings that have been suppressed to come out. Despite the prevalence of suicide in our community, there is still a social stigma that makes it a very difficult topic for survivors to broach.
I have decided that it is a topic about which I will not be silent. I may sound like a broken record to my friends, but I have vowed to do what I am able to overcome the social stigma and bring the conversations about suicide out into the light of public awareness. I have been active in SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education), AFSP (American Society for Suicide Prevention) and our local Front Porch Coalition. I serve on our county’s LOSS (Local Outreach to Survivors of Suicide) team and there isn’t a week that goes by without some of my time invested in outreach and prevention.
So my question for you is simple: “Are you OK?” If not, give me a call, but don’t let me be the only one who knows. Reach out. Help is available. Remember this number 1-800-273-8255 (273-TALK). Memorize this number. Give it to your friends. It is a lifeline.