Sometimes when I met with grieving families to plan funeral services, I would ask people to tell me what of their loved one they saw in themselves or in other family members. I might comment that the most important inheritances don’t have to do with property or finances, but rather with strengths and gifts and attributes that are shared. Somehow I got to thinking about that question in relationship to myself, my siblings and my father. It has been a long time since my father died. He was 59. I was 27. However, I see bits of him in myself all the time.

Although my appearance has changed over time, as did his, I am similar to him in terms of size and shape. I wear the same size shoes as he did. I’m the same height. He was prone to bumping his head and so am I. He loved to teach, especially practical skills such as how to operate a tool or machine. He was a flight instructor and was especially patient and careful when he taught me to fly an airplane. I love to teach and think of his balance of allowing his students to do things themselves while still maintaining control of the airplane and preventing any dangerous maneuvers. He would allow us to make mistakes, but would intervene when the consequences were too severe. I try to imitate that when I am teaching things to my grandchildren and to others.

I get my love of teaching from another important father figure in my life. My father-in-law was a teacher of electrical apprentices and he was a patient teacher of mine about many things including how to do basic wiring and make safe repairs to home appliances and light fixtures.

My father was absolutely committed to family. He made no distinction between adopted children and those born into our family. He and my mother instilled in me a strong desire to become an adoptive father and that is one of the deepest blessings of my life. He loved to plan family get-togethers and events. He would invite all of our aunts and uncles and cousins to join us for winter gatherings at the hot springs and summer gatherings by the river. Family gatherings give me great joy and when I look through my photographs, some of my favorite are group pictures taken at family gatherings.

He loved to talk. I do too. He could embarrass his children with his tendency to talk to strangers. I can too.

Of course there are a lot of differences. My father was an entrepreneur and a small business owner. I don’t think I would have done well in that kind of a vocation. He was a superb salesman. Me, not so much. He knew how to purchase a vehicle at the best possible price. I’ve probably over paid for vehicles on several occasions.

Lately I’ve been noticing traits that my father possessed in our son and in our grandson. There is something in the way our grandson tells stories that reminds me of my father. Our son’s patient way of figuring out how to make repairs around the house or with a vehicle is very reminiscent of my father. I’ve also been noticing that there are a few stories about my father that I need to share with them. Both of them enjoy hearing about my father and some of the things he did in his life.

There is a genetic legacy that is passed down from generation to generation. Each of us is the product of a long line of people who have somehow found mates and developed homes to nurture infants and to raise children. We inherit physical traits from our ancestors. We also inherit spirit and attitude towards life.

We are drawing close to the birth of a new grandchild. Our daughter-in-law thinks the event will occur in the next two weeks. This baby will be a unique expression of the lineage inherited from both sides of their family. I have a tradition of writing a letter to each of my grandchildren on the day after their birth (or the day after we learn of their birth - one of our grandsons was born in Japan on the other side of the international date line from where we live). I’ve been thinking about what I might write for this new baby. One of the things that I want to say, that I tried to express to the others, is that there is a legacy of love and family into which they have been born. They have been loved from the very beginning. The idea of them was beloved even before they were conceived. Hopefully this legacy will nurture the sustain them in the difficult moments of life. But it is also a responsibility. Being raised in love, each of our grandchildren bears the responsibility to share love with the world. They have also been born into a legacy of serving others and caring for the lives of others. Raising animals and children and helping neighbors is all a part of the legacy of their inheritance.

Like our other grandchildren, there will be many stories I will want to share with this new one. I’ll want to tell them about their great-grandparents and about the adventures we shared. I’ll probably bore them with stories about how it was growing up in the old days. Nobody had cell phones. Our telephones were attached to the wall with a wire. We had to find a phone booth if we wanted to make a phone call when we were not at home. And we walked miles to school in driving blizzards and it was uphill both directions. OK, there may be a few exaggerations in the stories I tell most often.

We have no control over which stories are treasured and remembered and told again. But I’m pretty certain that a few of them, and even a few of my dad’s old jokes, will be told by our grandchildren. We have a legacy to pass on.