I stopped by the farmhouse last night just in time to hold our infant grandson while his parents sat down to eat dinner together. I remember well the days of having a baby who woke at mealtimes and needed to be held. Sometimes, one of us could hold the baby in one hand and eat with another. Often, we couldn’t really eat at the same time as one held the baby while the other ate and then we switched. We had only two children, spaced 2 1/2 years apart, so that phase of our life was very short. Our son’s household has four children and there is generally a bit of chaos at the dinner table. Nonetheless, they are pursuing family traditions and working hard to make mealtimes meaningful.

As I held the little one, I was privileged to listen to the dinner conversations of the rest of the family. They have a tradition of going around the table and each person expressing gratitude. The kids call it “thankful fors.” “I’m thankful for . . .” they say in turn. It is a delightful tradition and we try to honor it whenever we share a meal with them. Topics at the dinner table ranged from tales of things that happened at school to learning to braid hair. There was a bit of conversation about events of the weekend and what happened as the family returned to work and school.

And, as has been the case frequently recently, there was a bit of talk about sweet treats. The children all have a bit of a sweet tooth. They had pie as a special treat over the weekend and there was pie left for an after dinner treat. It was clear, however, that the children were required to eat some of the nutritious food that had been prepared for their dinner before they could have a piece of pie. The conversation brought a smile to my face because it is so familiar. I can remember my own parents talking to us kids about the need to eat our vegetables and clean our plates before dessert could be served. I remember having similar conversations with our children. Just a couple of days ago, I had a conversation with our daughter about her struggle with her two-year-old who seems to prefer chips and sweets over all other foods.

Teaching children to eat nutritious food and make wise food choices is a challenge for parents. Patterns set in childhood can persist well into adult life. I still struggle to make wise choices about snacking and portion control as I am overweight and each passing year makes losing weight a bigger challenge. Unlike the children, however, I really am not in need of much instruction on the subject. As I commented to a doctor once, “I am not overweight because of a lack of information.” I invested a few years of my life struggling with menus and food planning and preparation for my mother at the end of her life when she was a brittle diabetic and balancing protein and carbohydrates was a special challenge. It was a good education for me about my own eating patterns.

While I was smiling at our grandchildren’s hankering for pie, I had to remind myself that I myself brought treats from a local bakery to the church to share with volunteers helping to clean out Faith Formation supply closets and classrooms earlier the same day. I had already had my sweet treat for the day.

The struggles we have with food are, however, really the product of abundance and affluence. Our grocery budgets are generous compared with many people in our community and even more people around the globe. Living in crushing poverty limits the choices one has when it comes to purchasing groceries. Having to eat food that is provided by others means not having as much control over what is eaten. In the most extreme cases, programs aimed at providing food for children can take away the power of deciding what children are fed from the parents. Fresh vegetables are in short supply at food pantries.

We enjoy a great deal of food luxury in our lives. The commute from our jobs to our house takes us through the Lummi Reservation so it is convenient for us to stop at the seafood market run by the tribe to pick up fresh local fish, and shellfish. Our grocery store has an abundance of fresh vegetables all year around. We live in an area where fruit trees abound and we have access to apples, cherries, plums, peaches and many different kinds of berries. We get fresh eggs from the chickens on the farm and it won’t be long before the garden is yielding abundant greens and other vegetables for our table. Furthermore we have a large freezer to store food, a food dryer, and other ways to preserve food. We eat well and we have access to abundant local food. I am well aware that it is a luxury that not all families enjoy.

The conversations we have with our children and grandchildren about food choices illustrate the simple fact that we have choices. We have options and alternatives. Those choices are not present for families living in refugee camps. They are not present for families taking their evening meal at local shelters and service centers. They are not present for homeless youth stopping by the day shelter. They don’t exist for those living in food deserts. We are surrounded by people who face food insufficiency every day. And the hungry ones in our communities are disproportionately young. Too many children lack sufficient nutrition.

And, as our children are struggling to teach their children, patterns about eating and nutrition are often set early in life. A lack of food in childhood can have dramatic effects that last for the rest of the lives of those victims.

Like our grandchildren, I need to be aware of, careful with, and grateful for the choices I have. It is a good conversation to return to again and again.