It is a bit difficult for me to accurately describe the family home of my upbringing. My parents raised seven children, but there were never more than 5 at home at the same time. Still, a family of seven fills up the table at mealtime. We had assigned places at the table that helped to avoid arguments over who would sit in which chair. I don’t remember our kitchen table ever having the leaves removed. We always had eight chairs at the table and guests were frequent. If we had only one guest, my position at the table was shifted the the empty seat that was usually between me and the other end of the table. We always had a lively discussion at the table and sometimes we argued. A raised voice was not uncommon. The food was always plentiful. We had assigned chores and knew what our responsibilities were.

The household of our children’s growing up was quite different. We have only two children, though we also hosted exchange students, so sometimes we had extras at our dinner table. Still the number was usually low. A five-passenger car was sufficient for family outings and vacations. Our dining table was more quiet than that of my growing up years. Still, the food has always been plentiful and the conversation lively. For most of our married life and unabridged dictionary was close by the table when we ate dinner to be used in resolving disagreements about words and how they are used. In recent years the Internet has mostly replaced the big physical books, but there is still an unabridged dictionary at our house in Rapid City because we couldn’t decide whether to move it or let it go to a used book sale.

Here in our new home in Washington we have had a full dining table once again. For a few days while they are between the sale of one home and the purchase of another, our son and his family are living with us. And my sister has come to give us a ride back to South Dakota so there were eight at the dinner table the last two nights. The food has been plentiful and the discussion has been lively. Although my sister now lives alone and Susan and I are usually just a couple at meals, the full dining table seems just right to me. I find myself looking forward to mealtimes with the family. My thanksgiving prayers are genuine expressions of how I am feeling these days.

For regular readers of this journal, today we start a journey back to South Dakota to finish some details of getting our home ready for its new owner. The weather has turned and much of the country we will cover has experienced snow, though it looks like the roads will be good for our travel. Traveling with my sister we’ll be back to three of us at meals and not long after we arrive in South Dakota, we’ll be down to just the two of us again. Meals might become a little more quiet for a while.

Yesterday we had a conversation about ordering a turkey for our Thanksgiving Dinner. The holiday is just five weeks from today. A lot has to happen between now and then, and I know that the time will pass quickly for us, but it gives us a sense of order to our lives to start thinking about how we will mark holidays in our new retirement lives. For many years we have gathered with dear friends on Thanksgiving. We’ve not been the ones to choose the size of the turkey, but we have had wonderful meals around full tables with plenty of people and plentiful food. The holiday celebrations have been times of abundance of lively conversation and deep friendship with people who value their family as we do ours.

Now we are embarking on life changes that means we will be discovering new ways to celebrate the holidays and occasions of our lives. We know that we are not alone. The coronavirus has changed the way people gather for meals. It has introduced fear of coming into close contact with others. It has pretty much eliminated inviting casual guests into our homes.

I’ve noticed the difference as we walk around our new neighborhood. In previous moves, we have reached out our hands when meeting new neighbors. Now we stand many feet apart, usually much more than the recommended six feet and speak to each other over the distance. Other neighbors rush into their homes and we don’t have the opportunity for any conversation with them. It might take us quite a while to get to know our neighbors in this new home. Still, we know it is a pleasant neighborhood and we are eager to get to know the people among whom we will be living.

When we met with our landlords to sign the lease on our home, they said, “In normal times, we would go out for coffee and get to know each other better.” It is true. We really hit it off as soon as we met. We were exchanging pictures of our grandchildren within minutes, even in the setting of the bank where we were having documents notarized. Hopefully we will be able to invite them for a meal or meat them for coffee during the time we are renting their home.

These are strange times for many folks. As we drove across the northwest in our rental truck, we were especially aware of how many other rental trucks we saw. There are a lot of families on the move. Some folks are moving because their jobs no longer exist. Some folks are moving because they are now working remotely and the distance between home and work can be greater than before. Some folks are moving in search of a better life.

Our world is constantly changing but in the midst of it all, it is good to sit down for dinner with friends and family. I’m glad we have the leaves in our dining room table. We’ll keep it that way for a while.

Copyright (c) 2020 by Ted E. Huffman. I wrote this. If you would like to share it, please direct your friends to my web site. If you'd like permission to copy, please send me an email. Thanks!