52 years later

It seemed like the world was in chaos. The United States had officially signed the Paris Peace Accords, ending roughly two decades of involvement in the war in Vietnam. Although the United States Congress never officially declared war, US combat troops were directly involved. Over 58,000 US troops had died. Estimates of Vietnamese soldiers and civilians killed range from just under a million to 3 million. Cambodians and Laotians also died in large numbers. The end of the war ended the draft for US men, though the system remained in place with men required to register and Congress reserving the power to resume the draft if needed. The transition to an all-volunteer army was rocky, in part due to the unpopularity of the Vietnam War in the United States. Returning soldiers were often ignored, treated with disrespect, and did not receive the ongoing support and service they needed. Unemployment and homelessness among veterans began to rise.

U.S. politics were in upheaval, and the Nixon Administration was embroiled in controversy. Vice President Spiro Agnew was being investigated for criminal charges, including conspiracy, bribery, extortion, and tax fraud. This was the beginning of the administration's unraveling, which resulted in the Vice President's resignation and, a couple of years later, the only resignation of a sitting US President in our nation’s history.

The stock market crashed, and the U.S. slid into a severe recession. During the Arab-Israeli War, Arab members of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) imposed an embargo on the United States in retaliation for the U.S. backing of the Israeli military. The embargo sparked an energy crisis in the U.S. Gas stations ran out of fuel. Long lines and high prices affected the distribution of goods and curtailed tourism.

We were college students preparing to enter our senior year and intending to go on to graduate school. I had decided to remain in our college town that summer instead of going home to work for my father. It was harder than I thought it would be to find a summer job. I considered driving an ice cream truck, but that was risky with no guaranteed hourly wage. We knew we would be forced to borrow money to stay in college and that we would need to have high grades to earn graduate school fellowships and follow our educational dreams.

There had been serious conversations with my parents and with hers about the timing of our wedding. At first, the parents favored waiting until we graduated from college, but we were not inclined to wait. We had decided to marry and saw no reason for delay. Although our college did not have housing for married students, we obtained jobs as janitors in an office building on campus. The building had previously served as a dormitory and had a small efficiency apartment for the resident manager. We were allowed to stay in the apartment in exchange for providing janitorial services. The apartment had been remodeled and downsized in the conversion to offices. It consisted of a kitchen, a bathroom, and what had formerly been the living room. A hide-a-bed sofa was unfolded each evening for a place to sleep.

Having not found a job by the end of the school year, I got temporary employment guiding a visiting church youth group in the mountains. It was a year of significant snowfall, and their planned backpack trip had to be modified due to snow in the high country. It was also a banner year for ticks, and I became proficient at removing them from campers getting their first taste of the Montana mountains.

Finally, at the last minute, through a friend of a friend, I was hired to work at a large bakery. My first day of work was delayed for one week so I could get married. The wedding was on a Friday evening, and I reported to work on Tuesday morning. We stayed two nights at her parents’ cabin for a honeymoon.

There were a lot of details we hadn’t worked out. Our study was also our bedroom. We had only one typewriter, and college papers had to be typed. I was a morning person, and she was a night owl. She proofread my papers for spelling and grammar. I typed hers from her handwritten copies. We had almost no spending money. We signed loans to cover part of our tuition and fees, and counted our available cash before grocery shopping. We had discussed having children, but weren’t ready to start a family. We didn’t have investments or savings. We assumed we could obtain married student housing in graduate school, but we had only begun applying, and the schools we were applying to were a long way away. We expected to move to Boston, Chicago, or Berkeley, but had no plan for making the move.

We were in love and we were happy. Getting married was the right thing at the right time for us. It turned out that we were right. Five years later, we graduated from the seminary and obtained our first full-time jobs after several part-time jobs and student apartments. Our move to the parsonage was our sixth in our married life. Moving wasn’t all that complex. We had a few boxes of dishes and kitchen items, one small desk, a typewriter, a sewing machine, a couple of guitars, and several boxes of books.

Today marks 52 years, and we are still in love and happy. Over the years, we have officiated at a lot of weddings, both as individual officiants and as a clergy couple. Most of the couples whose marriages we celebrated were older than we were at our wedding. Some have had all kinds of details worked out. They have established careers, financial security, and own their own home. Some have had children before their wedding. Not every couple does things in the same order as we did. We’d been married seven years before children, twelve before we got our first mortgage and became homeowners.

But we have been blessed with deep joy. We have shared our careers and worked together. We have made a few more moves and accumulated furniture and many other possessions. We still have a lot of books. She still proofreads my writing, though I haven’t typed a document for her in years.

The world is still in chaos. The U.S. has been involved in military strikes against an Arab country backing Israel. The economy is far from stable with a trade war, rising costs, and energy instability. The world is facing a global climate crisis. Some think it is not a good time to make long-term plans and commitments. No one is asking my opinion these days, but if asked, I urge young couples to make the commitment. Not every couple has been as fortunate in marriage as we have, but the rewards of taking a risk for love have made it worth it for us.

It turned out to be the best choice of our lives.

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